bling&bones

thailand day three: a loooong day!

2012-02-20T13:16:00.000-08:00

*before i even post anything right now i want to take a few lines to let you all know how much i appreciate your comments on my last post...i know you're out there and i know i'm not the only one who feels this way!;)

i'm also not fishing for comments...which surely you understand. i'm not the best at leaving comments on blogs, but that doesn't mean i'm not reading. sometimes it's hard to write like there won't be someone out there taking in my words and my thoughts, but i do my best to find a balance between being me and connecting with you. i'm sure there are things i say that are interesting to you and i'm sure there are things that are not...that's what that little "follow" button is all about...i will always post what i feel like posting. i will always keep it real. i think you're awesome! and thank you for taking the time to say you feel the same. <3*

so last night i had a dream that we got to go back to thailand for 2 more days because lin, our guide, wanted to do something special for us. she flew us in and put us up in a hotel and took me right to the area where i was supposed to meet up with my group for...a talent show performance! what?! i was in a dance crew and i had to perform on stage with them for all of thailand! at first i was confident, this was my crew and i obviously knew what to do, but then once i realized i had no idea who these people were or why exactly i was in a talent contest, i started to get nervous...especially since i had never actually practiced the routine, i had just seen it on you tube. haha! anyway...as if my eagerness to post more about thailand wasn't strong enough...that dream confirmed it, i will post on! ;)

on day three we woke up early and got on the bus for a long day of driving.

luckily we had lots of stops along the way and the excitement of getting to our tent camp in the jungle kept us pretty amped up. we had a lot of impromptu stops...things were happening all along our trek that day and lin was awesome enough to tell the bus driver to pull over so we could have the opportunity to see some things we wouldn't ordinarily get to see.

our first stop off the side of the road was at a field where they were harvesting salt. all in all it doesn't sound that exciting, but when you're there and you can actually see it happening and you make the connection in your mind that this place is where our salt comes from, it's pretty amazing. i bet you didn't know that these are the beginning stages of that salt in the shaker on your table.

and seriously...how pretty does it look?

after a couple more hours on the road we pulled into a little town where lin hustled us off the bus and through the market to get to the tiny little train station at the end to see what was about to go down.

the market is set up literally right against the train tracks (you can see it in the pictures above)...all of the vendors have awnings that extend out from their shop space (you can see that in the pictures too) and when the train comes through they move themselves and their customers back and retract their shop covers...it's a pretty interesting way to shop, but everyone seemed pretty casual about it.

we had no idea what things looked like at the end of the tracks because the market was pretty crowded so, as you can imagine, the whole time i was thinking "hurry up, people!" and i could've sworn i felt the ground rumbling like a train was coming. haha!

when we got to the clearing at the end of the market we saw that there was in fact a train and a train station, but it was small and, just like everything else in thailand, seemed to move at a very leisurely pace.

it was fun that we got to see it all happening, and i think everyone's favorite part was the group of girls who ran out after the train with their peace signs up ready to have their picture taken.

(when we're paused for a moment by all the meat you can hear me say "get me out of here" haha! it's that smell...i'm telling you!)

after the entertainment at the market we piled back onto the bus and set out yet again for our next little stop...a coconut plantation! i kind of love all things coconut, so i was definitely pretty stoked to get an inside look at what was going on here. not only was the whole set up of the place really cool, but their home was beautiful (made of teak wood!), and they had their own little "zoo" of pets all around...monkeys (trained to climb the trees and get the coconuts), roosters and chickens, squirrels (i have no idea), a couple of cats, and a few dogs.

lin gave us a demonstration of the process they go through to make palm sugar and how they us every part of the coconut for something...this is huge in thailand

(this is the palm sugar set up, heating it, extracting it, boiling it, cooling it...)

(i took a picture of the guy mixing the palm sugar and he handed over the giant whisk to me so i could give it a stir...it was SO hard! i'm not even kidding.)

(this is the river that runs right by their house, the entire village is built along the river and there are speakers set up throughout the area so that if there is an important announcement to make they can alert the whole village at once...pretty awesome!)

like i said, their home was beautiful!

it is very typical for a thai home to be uncluttered, they have what they need and they like to keep their living spaces open...love it! this house had more pictures hanging up than we had seen in any other home we visited...most of them were of monks, images of the buddha, or of the royal family.

because thailand has a monarchy, the king and the royal family are highly regarded. the thai people grow up learning about royalty and they live with so much respect for their king. lin told us that in recent years there has been some "political unrest" among the thai people, but that the most recent flooding has really brought everyone back together. (lin and i had a long talk about this, i told her how i feel like the universe is trying to teach us something, that these natural disasters are happening to remind us that we are all people, we are all one and in order to survive we must come back together...she wholeheartedly agreed.)

but they are never to speak ill of the king or the royal family in public (or really at all)...and luckily for them, for the most part, everyone really does love and respect the king.

anyway, the king and members of the royal family are the only ones allowed to have their pictures up in public places (aside from advertisements, i guess)...they are seen everywhere! and if lin didn't tell us that bit of information, we would've thought this one guy owned everything around...the king's picture is literally everywhere...we even had a picture of him with his two dogs on our bus.

(those photos you see hanging all around the window above are all of the king and his family)

another thing all thai homes have...a shrine or altar.

this one was particularly beautiful...they had books of ancient script that looked like they were about to fall apart...the only other place we saw books like that were in temples or with the shaman.

pretty amazing!

chad and i loved seeing these altars in people's homes because we have on in our home too...and we decided we need to add some flowers and maybe a few offerings to ours (if we can keep bodhi from getting into them!)

these people were obviously set up for visitors because they even had a shop attached to their home.

this is chad demonstrating how to use an opium pipe, we asked if it came with free samples...they just laughed and laughed. anyway, chad got a coconut wood coffee mug...he loves it!

(a video of one of their squirrels)

(i forgot all about this moment and i am so happy chad got it on video! he was filming the monkeys swinging around and the one swung right into the side of the cage where his sister was standing, i was coming up behind them so i saw the whole thing...she jumped and screamed and it was hilarious!)

(and finally, this adorable and hilarious picture of chad reaching out to the monkey as the monkey was reaching out to grab his finger...and then him pulling away quickly because the monkey actually did grab his finger! haha!)

next stop (i told you it was a long day!)...

the floating market.

it is exactly as it sounds...a bunch of boats on the river, some with customers and some with sellers.

and of course lots of shopping all around.

this is where we mailed our first round of postcards from and i can't believe our friends are just now getting them!

we walked around to take a look at everything, but we didn't really stop to buy much. it was a particularly warm day and walking around in the sun wasn't suiting us too well. we did get suckered into buying 2 large containers of tiger balm (which i'm not complaining about at all), the woman massaged it on me and then tried to sell it to me for a way higher price than i ever would've paid...and then once i talked her down to a reasonable price for one, she acted like she didn't have change and gave me two containers instead. haha! okay, okay. it really is good stuff and in the US, for just a tiny jar it costs about 5 times as much as we paid for two biggies. fair enough.

this is also where chad and i were approached several times because of our tattoos, i thought it was interesting that the further north we got the more people seemed to recognize not only my kuan yin but also the specific temple (from myanmar) that i have on my arm...it was also interesting to see how the people all seemed to think that all of our tattoos were done traditionally with a bamboo stick. without fully being able to speak to one another they at least knew that if they said "oooh!" and pointed and then added a "tick, tick, tick" with a poking motion on their skin that we would understand...and we did. this is where the woman was rubbing my arm so hard i thought she was going to give me eraser burn (remember that shit?!) and where a man pretended to bite chad's arm because in thailand the tattoos they get are typically the sak yant holy tattoos and they are said to make you impenetrable. so funny!

(by now you know what this is, right?...a spirit house! ;))

(omg...the noodle lady? love her. haha!)

(i took this picture from above after i heard tasha and lauren squealing and laughing and realized that there were two men with two really big snakes down there with them...)

(and later lauren showed us this photo...which pretty much says it all. haha!)

after all that we were getting pretty hungry...so lin took us to the cabbages&condoms cafe...

yes, you read that right.

the guy who opened this restaurant wanted to make a point...and i think he definitely did.

for a while the people of thailand weren't really educated about sex and sexually transmitted disease, as the number of hiv and aids cases were rising, the people stepped up and decided it was time to spread some awareness. and even still, talk of condoms and sex was a bit faux pas...so...this guy decided that he would do his part to spread the word, he said that we should be able to openly talk about condoms just like we do cabbages...and the cabbages&condoms cafe was born.

the whole place is decked out in condoms and condom related things...the food is amazing...and instead of mints with the check they give...you guessed it...condoms.

fueled up and ready to go, we headed out yet again for a new destination.

we hit up the bridge over the river kwai which, i have to admit, chad and i weren't really all that excited about.

this bridge and the whole story of the river kwai just doesn't feel good to me or chad, and so we opted out of a lot of the related activities. the whole vibe of the place is built around american prisoners of war and their strife and struggles and unfortunate deaths surrounding the building of the bridge and laying down the train tracks at hellfire pass. we visited the cemetery of the pow's and i just didn't feel comfortable.

i know that for some people the history is meaningful...but i just don't feel good surrounded by death and sorrow...and i definitely don't think that a cemetery filled with the unmarked graves of prisoners of war, US or otherwise, is a fun "tourist attraction". so we mostly did our own thing or stayed on the bus watching "the other f-word" (awesome movie by the way! totally touching and i love seeing the musicians i grew up loving all grown up as well...we really are getting older, damn!).

there was a dope statue of kuan yin on the other side of the bridge...HUGE!

and this cute picture of us is probably the best part of the whole stop...haha!

we were on the last leg of our looong journey that day and we had finally entered the jungle!

just an hour or so before getting to the hintok river camp where we would be staying for the next two nights, we pulled off on another unplanned stop to check out some wild monkeys...this is not zoo style at all...these are legit, wild ass monkeys....running around all over the place...looking for food. haha!

they were totally adorable (as monkeys usually are) and it was really rad getting to see them and be surrounded by them all up close and personal like that.

oh but...i used to work with this kid at a pizza spot, his mom traveled all over the world...they went to thailand together once and he told me a story about how they were in the jungle and a monkey stole his backpack...so i was a little leery and definitely kept my eye on these sneaky little guys!

(its kind of hard to see here, but if you click on the pic to make it bigger you can totally see that mama in the center with her baby clinging onto her waist...oh my cute!)

(p.s. totally need to figure out how to post my pictures bigger without cutting off any text...if anyone knows how to fix that part of my layout i would be stoked!)

(busted!! totally caught drinking the water leaking from the bus from the a/c.)

and one final picture before we're on the bus one last time (that day anyway)...on our way to the river camp!

oh blogging.

2012-02-19T11:46:00.000-08:00

last night before bed i gave a little thought to putting up another thailand post...and then i thought about how maybe posting all about our trip wasn't really all that interesting to anyone but us...and for a moment, just a moment...i thought about not posting anymore. and then i remembered that this blog really isn't about anyone but us...and although i have readers and that wonderful handful of you who actually take the time to comment...it really doesn't matter if what i say or post isn't interesting to anyone but me. there was a time where i really cared about gaining followers, where i looked forward to seeing if anyone had commented on my post (i do still look forward to those comments, but not in the same way of valuing the worth of my blog as i used to)...but then i realized that if i really want to keep true to myself i can't "sell out" and do what appeals to everyone else...especially if the only reason i'm doing it is to gain readership.

are you ready for a confession?

i am a closet blogger.

yep, i said it. if you're reading this then you know about my blog, but aside from my husband and the few people i have become friends with through blogging...no one knows i even have a blog. none of my friends (unless it's come up casually in passing), no one in my family, and very very few people i actually know in real life. there isn't any real reason for this other than the fact that this space is for me...and while i welcome you to be a part of it...i'm not really looking to invite thousands of unknown people into my world.

i see it in blogs i love all the time, they gain a huge following and suddenly the content of their blog becomes filled with ads, sponsor information (telling those thousands of readers about such and such product because someone paid them to do so), and where there used to be personal posts and words from the heart, there are now guest posts and interviews...and everything i used to love about each one of those blogs is gone, because with that many people watching, i imagine it's hard to really keep it real.

without completely shutting down or starting up another private blog (who has the time for two blogs?!), you can't really ever gain your privacy back.

if you're too happy, someone will try to call you out. if your readers like your hair they'll comment all about it and if they don't, well...they'll tell you that too. if someone thinks you shouldn't really be wearing tights, they'll let you know and they'll let everyone else know too. they'll ask where you bought your necklace or watch, how much your wedding ring cost, or tell you that they think you're fake and spoiled. once your life is put out there like that, people will find your every detail in each and every photo you post. it's kind of creepy and it kind of weirds me out.

now i will say this, not every blog reader/commenter is lurky and off, some of you are fuckin' awesome...and i think you know that. but when your little website about your little life grows into something much much bigger, it's hard to filter people out...you have no control over who reads, who watches, who sits eagerly by their computer just waiting for your next post (i don't know if that really happens, but my mind is going all horror movie status right now)...no control over any of it. and with that, you have to admit, you lose not only your privacy but your motivation to continue to post about your personal life in the way you really want to.

if your blog is promoting your business that's a whole different ballgame...but then you were probably never really getting too personal in the first place.

this is not to say that every single lifestyle blogger out there has changed their posts dramatically or even a little bit...some of you out there are rockstars and post whatever the hell you want regardless of what anyone thinks or says or how many readers you gain or lose...high fives to you.

what i am mainly saying is that, i used to think i wanted to be "famous" (granted this was mostly a childhood dream)...but i see how people change and i see how that private part of your life can be forever lost...and i'm just not interested in that.

sure it would be nice to make money and to have people know who i am, but i prefer to make genuine lasting impressions on my own, through person to person contact...not via the internet where each and every word i type and photo i post is subject to interpretation and critical judgement.

i can post whenever i want, i am not on anyone's schedule but my own...and i never feel like i owe anyone anything. that is a very freeing feeling.

and so with all of this...whether you stay or go, read along or don't...i will continue to say what i want and post what is important to me...regardless of the opinions and comments from the peanut galleries of the world wide web.

and as for my next post...more thailand.

thailand day two: the emerald buddha

2012-02-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

like i mentioned at the end of my previous post, i woke up feeling really good on our second day...

and thank goodness i did because i would've been so bummed if i missed our visit to

wat phra kaew, the temple of the emerald buddha.

i always thought the emerald buddha was huge, but in reality he is just over 2 feet tall!

this temple is considered the most sacred in thailand and we could've probably guessed that just by seeing how many people were there that day. the emerald buddha is carved from a single piece of jade (insane!) and he wears three different outfits throughout the year, changing his appearance 4 times to represent the change of seasons...and only the king is allowed to change the gold cloak. pretty crazy, huh? the ritual is intended to bring good fortune for the coming season.

every temple we visited had gold everywhere...it was so beautiful and so crazy to think that each ornate detail was carefully made by hand.

(this is a statue of a "hermit man" aka shaman)

(everyone has to remove their shoes before entering the temple)

(the hall surrounding the entrance to the emerald buddha)

see him in there?!

you can't take pictures inside, for obvious reasons, so we did our best to capture him before we walked through the giant golden doorway.

part of me feels like it's too bad that you can't take pictures inside because it is so stunning in there!...but another part of me feels like it is so wonderful and respectful that you can't take pictures inside because it makes the experience so much more special...and you just can't describe the feelings you get in there with a photo.

these elephants are made of brass, but they were painted black because people would rub their heads for goodluck and it began to wear away at them.

this was also the beginning of a trip filled with photos of us and thai kids...not only do they love that we're american, but everyone kept calling my pops-in-law "happy buddha" and chad and i are tattooed.

in thailand we were met with smiles and excitement over our tattoos...everyone would point to us and say "oh, tattoo!" and then give two thumbs up. people we're touching us and even sometimes grabbing us...and once this woman was rubbing my arm so hard it hurt, lin said she was rubbing it for luck but it felt like she was trying to dry rub it off!...but we were never upset or irritated by it. here in the US that shit would not fly...maybe it's because of people's attitudes or the general view of "tattooed people"...all i know is, when someone grabs me in the grocery store to get a closer look at my tattoos, i am not stoked.

but thai people are awesome and happy and friendly and wonderful!

have i mentioned? ;)

(each tile was covered in gold leaf by hand...no, by fingertip! you could see the wrinkles and fingerprints on each one if you looked closely.)

(another photoshoot with the happy buddha)

(a model of the angkor wat)

after the temple we headed back to the hotel for lunch on our own before chad and i got thai massages (only $20 for each of us!). we ate together with the fam at a restaurant that is half owned by an american man named peter...the servers all speak english pretty well and the food is safe for travelers.

oh and most importantly...the food is delicious!!

("arroy arroy!"...we learned how to say "delicious" at our cooking class!)

(the spirit house outside of our hotel)

(bangkok traffic looks like this 24/7)

(yes...thai pizza)

after our massages we decided to head out for a walk around the city near the hotel to see what was out there...there wasn't too much, but we found some graffiti so chad was stoked. ;)

we worked up an appetite walking around so we decided to go back to mali (the restaurant we ate lunch at) for some dinner. the rest of the group went to dinner and a show at the marble hall, but chad wasn't really interested in going and i didn't want to push it after the way i was feeling the day before...so we hung out in the hotel and watched movies and tried to understand thai tv commercials and fell asleep pretty early.

the red curry at mali is bangin...we ate there twice more at the end of our trip when we were back in bangkok! we got the red curry with deep fried vegetables (we tried to order the veggies stir fried instead of deep fried, but making alterations in thailand is kind of difficult...this is why is looks like i'm picking off the outside of my food in the picture up there...because i am!), an order of spring rolls, and an order of pad thai noodles, with two glass bottles of "pethi" aka pepsi...all for 180 baht.

that's $6 US!!...definitely on our list of reasons we can't wait to go back!

(a photo of our unnecessarily large bed)

this is the view from our hotel room on our last night in bangkok before getting on the bus in the morning to move on to the next overnight stay!

thailand: the first day.

2012-02-15T20:51:00.000-08:00

let the fun begin!

on our fist official day in bangkok we woke up super early...early enough to wake up and shower and get some breakfast before meeting with lin (our guide) for an overview of our trip and for an opportunity to meet the 5 strangers we would be getting to know better over the course of the next 14 days.

there were a total of 12 people in our travel group (which was so nice!), and our family made up for 7 of those. there was preston and barbara, an ex military husband and his nurse wife from the midwest. maxine and richard, two old friends who love to travel together since their significant others have passed away (richard is 85 years old, also an ex-military man who was stationed in thailand and lived there for 3 years, he speaks fluent thai and has several friends there. he didn't go with us on any of our daily adventures, but he did move with us from place to place, and he never missed happy hour. pretty amazing for someone his age!). and then there was dottie, a retired school teacher/chronic worrier, she was quite the character and although we all seemed to find her antics a bit irritating and her commentary a bit on the ignorant side, she definitely kept us entertained...by the end of the trip we had a pretty good list of dottie quotes that we used regularly.

after our little meet up we headed to our rooms to grab what we needed for the day and headed to the bus for a quick tour around town (mostly through the chinese and indian parts of the city), before getting off to explore the flower market where we saw some of the most beautiful flowers i have ever seen.

oh but first i should mention that i woke up that morning feeling a little funny, still exhausted, wishing i could sleep a whole lot more (i even had to lay down for a few minutes in between meeting our travel mates and getting on the bus). walking through the market was a really cool experience, getting to see all the different flowers and fruits and foods...but the smell of the market? not so much. the flower section smells wonderful...but the food section gets pretty stinky, especially when you're walking by meats or fish...everything is just out in the open, exposed to the not so fresh bangkok air and the hot hot heat and humidity. surely you can imagine what that's like...now intensify it by 100x.

oh man.

the market is a pretty leisurely environment, the average thai family hits the market twice a day so every meal is very fresh, which i love...but the pace in the market is slow, which means that people don't walk fast and just because the vibe is relaxed doesn't mean there aren't an ass load of people there...so add smelly meats, 90 degree weather with 85% humidity, and slow stop and go "traffic"...oh man.

by the end of the trip i was more "used" to the smell...not used to it in the sense that it didn't smell as bad, but more in the sense that i knew what to expect at the markets and i got pretty damn good at holding my breath.

anyway, the market experience mixed with the fact that i already wasn't feeling too great was definitely going to make for an interesting first day.

(each of these pieces are handmade! they use them for weddings and parties and also as offerings)

(here's lin buying us some mangosteen to try! i love it now, it's on my top fav fruits list! they also had starfruit which i haven't had since i was a kid, but we couldn't get any because it's a thin skinned fruit and we weren't allowed to eat anything like that)

from the market we hopped on a boat and made our way to our cooking class!

it was a pretty cool ride, and the breeze from moving across the river felt really nice.

lin told us about the flooding and how some people's homes are built on the water so that they actually rise up with the water level (genius!), but some people's homes didn't even used to be near the water and now they've got a little more than just waterfront property. when the floods came in a lot of people got washed out of their homes and a lot of people fled bangkok for parts of northern thailand where they could hopefully start new. some of the houses we saw along the river were pretty trippy, the beams that support the house usually looked like they were rotting and about to collapse at any minute...but lin said they just wait until they break to replace them. people use redbull banners and things like that for siding on their river huts. the roof is typically either made of straw or tin, the living space is pretty small and it always seemed like there were a few people living in each home, and almost every single one of them had a tv and a satellite dish. ha! but the thing i loved so much about thailand (well, one of the things) is that no matter where we went or what our surroundings were like, everyone was always smiling. we would wave at people from the boat as we passed and they always waved back and smiled. it's a good feeling, friendliness.

(water monitors!...big friendly lizards who only eat plants and things that are already dead)

oh and spirit houses!!

lin was surprised when we told her that. i was really amazed at how different things are in thailand...more trusting, more open, more compassionate.

when we got to our host home for our cooking class we were not only happy to meet them but happy to finally be off the boat, away from boat fumes, and into the cool breeze of their shaded outdoor seating area.

at this point i started to really not feel well, but i thought maybe i was just getting hungry so i tried to suck it up and take deep breaths.

this is toom, our teacher for the afternoon.

we thought we were just going to go and watch her cook up a thai dish, but no...she had us all taking part in preparing the meal and she was pretty good at getting us to do whatever she said. haha!

chad and i prepared the green beans and the sauce, everyone before us had to mash the spices with a mortar and pestle. it was a group effort and we made one tasty meal...or so i heard.

toom and her sisters prepared some food for us in advance, but it was a part of our lesson to learn how to make red curry sauce so that's what we did. because chad and i are vegetarian we always got a non-meat variation of what everyone else was having...usually this meant tofu (seriously, how awesome is that? i imagine it would be ridiculously hard to travel to another country and be absolutely sure we could actually eat anything, so the fact that lin hooked us up every meal meant a lot to us). so for us there was cucumber soup, a noodle dish prepared with tofu, and the green beans with red curry that we made...and rice, always always rice.

i wanted so badly to eat, and i definitely wanted to try this delicious meal we had helped prepare...but i could barely swallow the soup, the one tiny bite of green bean i had was hard to chew without feeling nauseous, and i tried to take a forkful of rice but that just wasn't gonna happen.

eventually i just couldn't even sit at the table anymore and i just had to walk away from everyone else.

so i went to the back of the house where the "happy room" was and parked myself on a bench with my knees tucked into my chest, my arms folded on my knees, and my forehead resting on my arms...that funny feeling i had in the morning had quickly turned into something much worse.

("happy room" is the literal translation of the thai word for bathroom, we learned that on the first day and used that little tid bit of information the entire trip. we also learned that most people in public places and in their homes call the happy room the toilet, plain and simple. there was more than one occasion that i got a funny look for asking where the happy room was. but it's so much more fun to say!)

lin gave me two packets of electrolytes and a bottle of water and told me to drink the whole thing, she said it was probably jet lag and that the drink would make me bounce back. she also have me some awesome herbal oil that i used as aromatherapy and to rub on my pulse points to help improve my circulation and bring me back from the nausea. it helped just long enough for us to get back on the boat and head to our next stop.

oh, did i mention that the boat was our only mode of transportation for the day?

i don't normally get sea sick, but combined with everything else, the rocking and fumes from the boat were a bit much. i couldn't just get back to the bus or get back to the hotel, i really wanted to lay down, but i just had to push through.

our next stop was a visit to the royal barge, the place where they house all the intricately designed boats for the royal family.

when we left lunch it had started to rain and by the time we got to the barge it was really coming down...the roof was tin and the sound of the rain on it was seriously deafening! which was awesome for me because about 5 minutes after maxine asked if i had a bag on me just in case i was going to be sick and about 3 minutes after i took said bag out of chad's backpack...i was definitely throwing up into it.

ugh.

thankfully the rain was loud and i was in the back corner of the small area where everyone was sitting down to watch an informational video about the barge. one of the guys that worked there noticed i wasn't feeling well and while i was being sick he ran off to pick me some sour fruit from a tree nearby...can you believe that? so thoughtful, so kind. needless to say, i didn't really feel like eating the fruit...but i did express my gratitude and i think that's more important. ;)

i felt a little better afterwards, but still not great. chad and i walked to the dock where the boat was sitting to wait for everyone to finish exploring.

we piled back into the boat and took off down the river to wat arun, the temple of the dawn.

i really wanted to check it out, i just didn't want to miss anything!...so again, i sucked it up and did my best.

the entire temple is made of recycled bits of ceramic...it's pretty amazing!

when we walked in it was SO loud, it was the day after chinese new year and there was a lot going on around town...and here at the temple there was definitely a lot of people, there was a big table of offerings, and there was a ton of smoke from sticks of incense bigger than i've ever seen in my life!

before things started to get to me we posed for this picture...and then we got "hollered" at by a couple of people because apparently we were supposed to pay to take photos.

see that tiny little piece of blue paper that says 40 at the bottom of the cutout?

yeah, we didn't see it either. ;)

it's a good thing i changed from my original outfit that morning because my sexy pose and halter top and undies set would not have been allowed in.

between the loud music, the man talking over the loud speakers on blast, and those human sized sticks of incense...that funny feeling in my stomach started to come back. i was feeling a little overwhelmed but i didn't want to go back to the rocking boat...so i found a semi-quiet space in a corner and sat down while everyone looked around.

i'm so glad chad was feeling good because he was able to get some great pictures of the whole place and he even climbed up the super steep and narrow steps of the temple...from the bottom i saw people literally holding the railing and pulling themselves up, it looked pretty intense! chad said he had to take a break on the way down because he thought his legs might give out. yikes!

he checked everything out and this was me:

haha! forever a memory.

(the view from where i was sitting...taken before i needed to put my head down)

( i feel like this picture gives you a pretty good idea of how much smoke was in the air at the temple that day)

i'm glad i at least went into the temple, i knew that this was the first of many temple visits to come...but like i said, i just didn't want to miss out on anything.

after this we took the boat for one last trip back to where we would meet with the bus, our bus attendant hod, and our driver pj (they were a pretty important part of our trip!)...and they took us back to the hotel where i went straight to the room and hit the cushy pillow on our gigantic bed and slept from about 4 o'clock that afternoon until 7 o'clock the next morning.

i did wake up for a little bit to drink another bottle of electrolytes and to try to eat some of the dinner that chad had brought me from the meal the group ate that night...isn't he the sweetest?

i ate the soup and as much of the rice as i could (it was wild rice with currants stuffed into a pineapple!)...and

went right back to sleep.

and i was so happy to wake up the next morning feeling good as new!!

i was a little worried that i would be sick for more than one day and i was a little bummed thinking i made it all the way to thailand (my first ever trip out of the US...because mexico and the bahamas don't count) and i might be too sick to enjoy it.

but the sleep did me good and i was ready to kick day 2's ass!

thailand: getting all the way there.

2012-02-13T20:44:00.000-08:00

on tuesday morning, far earlier than anyone should ever wake up, we headed to the curb to wait for the super shuttle to take us to the phoenix airport where we checked in and checked our bags all the way through to our final destination.

we flew from phoenix to seattle where we took the tram-bus-train thing from terminal to terminal before finally reaching "s"...all international gates.

sounds so mystical, right?

during our 3 hour layover we decided to try to get something to eat...but i always forget how hard it is to eat eat the airport when you're vegetarian, or have any special dietary needs for that matter.

so we ended up getting 2 not so great veggie burgers...better than nothing. ;)

and then we boarded the big plane for our 12 hour flight to tokyo.

woah nelly, let me tell you this...12 hours is a looong time to be on a plane, that's for sure.

fortunately there were movies to watch and we were able to get up and walk around and stretch out from time to time. we tried to sleep as much as possible, but it's not so easy to get comfortable in those little seats.

so we napped here and there, watched movies, listened to music, talked, made art, and held hands...there was a lot of hand holding.

it's been a while since i've taken a flight long enough to get anything more than a little bag of pretzels, so i had forgotten all about how, um...interesting...airline food is.

here it is, our first vegetarian meal of the flight:

a still mostly frozen whole wheat roll with butter

a small salad and side of fruit

and an entree that consisted of mushy salty tofu cubes, disintegrating vegetables, and what appeared to be noodles but tasted more like mashed potatoes

can you guess what i ate?? haha!

i did taste a little bite of everything (except the bread), but i ended up putting the tofu on the salad and eating most of that with the fruit (minus a couple of smashed grapes).

again, not great, but better than nothing...we couldn't live off of snacks all day.

and 12 hours later, we made it to japan!

i will say that i thought the tokyo airport would be a lot more exciting...but i think i have some serious misconceptions of what japan is really like.

in my mind it's like disney land for adults...but better...it's like the future of playlands.

they did have a fun shop that had a huge origami display and these fun packages of snacks that look like all sorts of food they're not.

number one thing i learned from the tokyo/narita airport:

shit's expensive!!

we tried to get chad a side of rice and tempura vegetables with a bottled water and it was $24!

never mind the fact that everything is listed in yen and i have no idea what the conversion is there, but they also give you your change in yen which is, you know, totally useful.

number two thing:

(hehe, so fitting)

everything is immaculate, so clean!

the bathroom stalls are like full on rooms and the toilets have all sorts of fun buttons.

(this might be a part of the reason why i think of japan in the way that i do)

after all of that we boarded the final flight, another 7 hours to bangkok.

luckily we were actually able to get some sleep on this leg of the trip...and i woke up just in time to look out the window to catch a glimpse of what i'm pretty sure is some part of thailand.

the feeling of knowing we were almost there was so awesome!

once we landed we had to go straight through immigration/customs before getting our luggage.

it was about midnight in thailand and even though we were worn out, we were stoked to finally be there!

our guide met us near the exit after we picked up our bags and she led the way to the bus...our bus.

the bus that would take us from bangkok all the way to chiang mai with lots of fun stops and stories and laughs in between. a huge, bright blue tour bus with more seats than we needed for our 12 person group (which worked out perfectly for napping and lounging all along the way!)...cushy, neon rainbow design, reclining seats at that. with baby blue silky decorative curtains hanging from the windows and a bathroom with a shower below. fancy!
oh and air conditioning!! i cannot express how incredible it was to have an air conditioned bus...it saved us on so many occasions...it is so hot and SO humid in thailand.

meeting lin at the airport was so awesome and we knew right away we were going to love her! she had us laughing before we even got through the airport doors and on the ride to the hotel she introduced herself and told us just a little bit about what we would be doing the next day.

it wasn't hard to get to sleep, but we were definitely really really excited to be in thailand!

the next morning we would have to be up at 7 to eat some breakfast before our introductory meeting with lin at 8...and by 930 we were off for our first day of adventure!

coming soon.

2012-02-10T18:32:00.000-08:00

i plan to start sharing stories and photos from our epic visit to thailand this upcoming monday...we are still going through photos and videos and refreshing our own memories on all that happened during our 16 days abroad. each day was filled with so much that even on day three it was hard to recall what happened on day one (although i'm pretty sure i'll never forget day one and you'll just have to wait to learn why!).

let me just say, right here right now...thank goodness for digital cameras!

i can't imagine having to wait for my film to develop to get a good look at all of our pictures.

because we were there for so long and because we honestly experienced SO much...i plan to take as much time as i need to explain and document everything i want to here.

so i hope you'll follow along and not be totally sick of hearing about our trip by the end of the month. ;)

i feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to travel to thailand and i can't compare it to any other experience i've ever had in my life.

i smiled and laughed and felt overwhelmed with emotion more in those 2 weeks than i ever have before.

chad and i fully enjoyed our trip and we definitely plan to save up our pennies to visit again...we would love to one day call thailand our second home.

we love thailand, thai people, thai food, and the buddhist way of life.

if you've never heard before, thailand is known as the "land of smiles"...as soon as i learned this i was filled with a feeling of happiness. as we all know, america is not anywhere near to having such a reputation...so not only is a land of smiles a refreshing change of pace, but it is the kind of place we would love to call home. :)

i'll explain more about all of this as i tell all about our trip.

we were lucky enough to travel all over thailand, we stayed in several different cities and towns, visited villages and tribes, and even spent some time in the jungle.

we not only traveled as tourists, but we got the chance to feel more like locals as we learned a little bit of thai and spent time with thai families visiting their homes and schools and shopped in the local markets like thai people do.

i am so looking forward to sharing everything here and i know i'll relive each and every little feeling and emotion i experienced over there as i go.

feb.8.2012

2012-02-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

top three reasons why today is awesome:

-we're home safe from thailand!

-we get to snuggle with bodhi after 16 whole days without him!

and...

-today marks 10 years since the night chad and i met!

ten whole years!

we were instantly friends and became the best of friends soon after, spending hours talking on the phone, going out to eat all the time, going to shows and parties, and having the most fun together!

who knew then that we would be married now?! still best friends and so in love.

after a looong day of flying and waiting in airports across the world, we were so happy to finally land back in arizona. even now, as i type this quick little post, i am shocked that my eyes are still open and my mind is still functioning after being awake since 2am bangkok time yesterday morning (they are 14hrs ahead of us...so we "gained" a day, or something like that...i still don't understand how it works).

we have SO many pictures and SO many stories from our 16 day adventure...i can't wait to share everything!

tomorrow we are going to spend some time with our besties before driving up north where i know we will be so happy to finally be home.

thailand was amazing, but travelling is exhausting.

until next time...

for the next two and a half weeks...

2012-01-23T20:09:00.000-08:00

oh and just you wait til i'm back...shits gonna get GOOD around here!!

not your average pilates workout.

2012-01-22T18:58:00.000-08:00

let's be honest, sometimes i get busy doing shit all day and even though my "gym" is just downstairs and i know i want to workout, when it's 930pm...i would rather spend time with my husband.

so sometimes i pop a video into my computer and get in a little exercise while we watch a show or two.

now there are definitely days where i want a nice easy gentle workout, but usually on the days where i'm busy busy i end up wanting a hard, heart pumping, sweaty workout...and those are also the days when i don't want to go downstairs to workout in the cold basement by myself.

well...about 6 months ago i discovered blogilates...and if you don't know who cassey ho is, you're missing out. which is why i'm about to introduce all of you who don't know to one of my most favorite workout buddies ever (okay okay, i don't really know cassey, but we work out together a lot!).

i love pilates anyway...but this is a whole other kind of workout.

i know that a good pilates workout can be pretty challenging...but i think these POP pilates workouts are crazy awesome kick your own ass every time challenging!

and through cassey's you tube channel you can get all sorts of variations (cardio workouts too!), total body workouts or targeted routines.

saying i love POP pilates is an understatement for sure.

this past week has been kind of crazy and we've been busy pretty much all day every day, so i've been finding myself in that wanting to work out but not wanting to stop hanging out to go do it mode all week...

and i've been doing more POP pilates workouts than ever before!

oh and...i am totally feeling it!

cassey is motivating and inspiring and no matter how bad your legs are shaking or how sore your core is...she makes you want to finish those last 10 reps...love her!

i'm still working my way through all of her amazing routines to find the ones i like best...but i've been really enjoying (and seeing results!) from the full length videos so for now i'm stuck on them.

and how awesome is it that her videos are on you tube?! that means you have no excuses to not get in a little exercise, even when you're away from home!

this is the one i've been loving the past couple of days:

and before that i was doing these back to back (killer inner thigh work on the second video!):

okay, what are you waiting for?

getchyer pilates on!!

update.

2012-01-20T19:48:00.000-08:00

today i finally took some time to add a few new listings to my etsy shop!!!

i haven't updated it in SO long and i realized that my handmade goods aren't going to sell just sitting packaged and wrapped in bins in my studio space...and so...

MeeshOneStudio!

and as always...i'm accepting custom orders! ;)

bill knows what's up.

2012-01-18T22:21:00.000-08:00

last week we tried two new (to us) spots in town...

we saw an ad for tastebuds pizza in a local paper that mentioned they had won something like "best pizza in town 2011"...so, i mean, of course we were gonna try it.

it was good, but not as good as bill's or rosa's (our top two pizza places in town!).

choosing favorites is always so hard for me for some reason...like when i was in school and we had to do those silly "get to know you" activities and they asked me what my favorite color was, i would always stumble...black! no wait, black isn't a color. i like green, oh but mostly certain shades. oooh! and blue, i like blue a lot. and of course yellow, but more like mustardy gold yellow...

and when you have to set up a password hint and the question choices are all "what's your favorite tv show? favorite food? favorite number? favorite book?"...i get stuck on it forever! and i can never remember the answers because...well, how can i choose just one? for life?!

anyway...

when it comes to choosing between several pizza places that are all really good, it is so hard for me to judge.

chad still says bill's is the best and i agree...but i think i might like rosa's just the same. ;)

since we've lived here we've eaten at 5 different pizza places (and if you count the time we had terrible pizza from the brewery then we've eaten pizza at 6 different places!)...i think every spot legitimately has good pizza, but we'll always have our favs.

so...where was i?...

we tried tastebuds and while we were sitting there we were talking (about my first ever hot yoga class) and looking out the window to scope the scene...across the street we noticed that what used to be a coffee shop was now something new...bill's grill!

after we ate we walked over there to check out the menu and noticed that they not only had veggie burgers but they had three different options! so...we ate there the next day. we had to.

we've been looking for a spot to replace our beloved stars burgers in eureka, and even though i'm pretty sure nothing will ever be as good as stars...bill's grill can be our prescott stand in.

we really liked it! so much that we ate there again yesterday.

so there it is...bill's is killin it...they get our best pizza vote AND our best veggie burger+fries vote!

i think it's important to note here that i am completely teasing myself by posting these pictures right now...i caught myself staring at that photo of pizza for way longer than was necessary.

we ate bill's on sunday and that'll be my last pizza for a while. i'm off simple carbs, sugars, and cheese for the next several weeks. i've never wanted to eat bread more in my life! haha! it's ridiculous. i never really get intense cravings and i've switched up my eating habits plenty of times...

just the thought of even a bite of a bagel...oh man.

but, just thinking about how i'm going to feel is enough to make me stay away.

tomorrow i am absolutely getting some sprouted grain bread though!

i feel like i've eaten more fiber in the past 2 days than i've eaten in maybe ever.

oats, quinoa, greens, veggies, apples, berries, beans.

i know it's good, but i won't say it's not a little tricky (even for a vegetarian) to avoid certain foods...i'm cutting out so many things from my diet that i am so used to eating and it's forcing me to get a little more creative come meal time.

if i come up with anything amazingly delicious or even just a little clever, i'll try to remember to post about it!

swaggerific we so swaggerific.

2012-01-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

oops! i originally posted these with no words, no title, no nothing...not that fun things need explanation, but...
thing one: every single time i watch any kind of hip hop/breakdance/b-boy/b-girl performance, i wish with all my might that i too was a dope dancer in a bad ass crew. i'm keepin the dream alive.
thing two: this song is on our friend dash's latest mix and when i hear it it gets stuck in my head for days...so now its this and bieber's "baby" in a mash up rotation playing non stop in this mind of mine.
tell me its not catchy...really.
(heads up san diego...our good friend/member of the fam, dash eye and his crew tribe of kings play 5 or 6 out of 7 nights a week at regular spots in sd...go out, have some fun, support the scene...and shake those tail feathers!!)

what i wore: with blowfish shoes!!

2012-01-14T11:24:00.000-08:00

in october, i won a pair of blowfish shoes from the super sweet and oh so adorable carly from teacups and bubble baths...and i was beyond stoked!

i don't usually even enter giveaways because i don't typically win...but lately i've been on a hot streak and i am entering every damn contest that comes my way (i even entered the better homes & gardens $10,000 home improvement giveaway and we don't own our home anymore...i'm sure it applies to furnishings and appliances too though, right?)

anyway...when i found out that i won i was shot straight to the moon for a minute!

and when i came back i spent some time pouring over blowfish's awesome selection.

so many cute shoes, heels, flats, wedges...but i'm a boot girl.

i haven't always been...but two summers ago i got my first pair of boots ever (those crazy snow boots from my childhood and my pair of lacrosse boots, no matter how much i love them, don't count when it comes to daily wear)...they were blowfish and i am still so in love with them!

(as in love as a girl can really be with a pair of shoes anyway)

and since then...i've added to my boot collection, like, a lot.

i currently have 7 pair, including the newest addition to the shoe closet and everyday it takes just a little longer for me to pick out which boots i'm going to wear.

(apparently my inclination to "declutter" does not apply where boots are concerned!)

lucky for me they all seem to go with everything and my latest pair from blowfish are on the top of my current favs list!

i am so happy i won and i will be a blowfish girl for life!

i got the farron boots in taupe canyon faux leather and so far they have been getting lots of wear...and still look brand new!

i've been wearing them with leggings or skinny jeans, with dresses and skirts, with tights and shorts, out and about to run errands, on walks with bodhi, and sometimes just around the house...because they are just that awesome! ;)

i will say that in the photo online they look a bit more brown than they do in person...to me they're a bit more on the gray side, but that's perfect because i didn't have a pair of gray boots...until now!

ooh and also...the buckles make a really fun clankin' spur sound as i walk, which totally makes me feel like a cowgirl...and coincidentally, makes me feel like i fit right in up here in prescott (like a biscuit!).

i love the style of them...a little mad max, a little urban, a little country, and a lot rad/goes with everything!

oh and for you girls out there with those sexy muscular calves, just wishing you too could own a cute pair of boots...all the blowfish boots i've tried have plenty of room without being too snug or uncomfortable!

(and i'm totally one of those girls!...one of you girls! ;))

if you aren't already a blowfish shoes kinda gal...i highly recommend you get with it! ;)

they have so many cute styles and i love how versatile they all are. dress em' up or keep em' casual...they look great no matter what!

thank you carly and thank you blowfish...i'm a lifer.

field trip to the old senator mine.

2012-01-13T17:36:00.000-08:00

oh friday, how are you here already?

yesterday we got up and did a few quick things (quick like an hour long conversation with my wombie) before heading out on a mission to find the old senator mine.

rumor has it there's a lot of graffiti there and it's a "safe spot" for painting.

well...let me tell you this...there is no doubt about this weird metal skeleton of a structure being a safe space for art...there ain't a thing around up there and the road just beyond this point gets pretty sketchy.

we plan to take it a little further once spring comes and there's no risk of thick ice on the narrow narrow roadway.

actually, we did end up passing up the structure thinking maybe the actual location we were looking for was a bit further down the way, but once we hit the point of snow and ice, it didn't look like there was a clearing ahead...so chad had to turn the car around...being very careful not to fall of the side of the mountain in the process.

once we got that all figured out, we headed back down the road a little ways and pulled over into one of those turn offs they always have on roads where it would be impossible for two cars to pass.

"safe spot" indeed.

i was expecting something completely different before we arrived...i was thinking we would be turning off into this open field of mounds with tiny entrances that lead into the mine.

because, you know, i have a very clear idea of what a mine looks like...apparently.

instead we were greeted with the view of an adjacent mountain side and a steep decline through big loose rocks...oh and a big sign that read "KEEP OUT" that had been spray painted over.

needless to say, i was not wearing the most appropriate gear.

so chad went down first to check it out...and i am not lying (maybe only exaggerating a little) when i say that he nearly slid off the side of the mountain just trying to get to the narrow walkway that leads you into the abandoned steel structure.

while he was down there exploring i walked around a little bit on the road looking around and noticing how eerily quiet things were up there.

and upon hearing the sort of indistinguishable sound of a chainsaw in the distance, i grabbed the nearest big jagged rock i could find and decided it would be a good idea for me to carry this around while i was on my own...you know, in case of a mountain lion encounter. sometimes my survival (wo)man instincts kick in on their own.

and then just as the thought crossed my mind that if for some reason we were to get stuck or have some sort of problem up there it would be a long walk back to the nearest camp...a friendly truck drove by with a cute old cowboy and a cowgirl lady by his side...and then shortly after that, a big ol' septic service truck.

phew...okay, we weren't alone...and it's a good thing too because standing there looking out into the open, i realized that my survival skills probably aren't up to par.

and right then and there...a new goal was born...i must learn some basic survival skills, sooner than later.

here i am talking about wanting to live sustainably and off the grid...but i don't think i could even start a fire the primitive way. yikes!

we've seen cody lundin up here quite a few times now and i know that he has a survival school...so i'm going to look into seeing just how much it would cost to go!

anyway, while i was waiting i found like twenty bullet shells on the ground so i made a pile of them and then, just in the knick of time to save me from whatever weird thing i was doing...chad found an alternate route down to the spot...so i got to go check it out too!

it was a looong way down!

it ended up being pretty cool! and although it's probably not a place we'll be visiting on the regular, it was really fun to make an afternoon of it!

ooh and if you do a google image search for "senator mine az"...you can see some really cool old pictures (from the sharlot hall museum...another place we're going to check out!) of what the place looked like back in the day. pretty trippy to think about!

Coconut Maple Pecan Cookies!

2012-01-12T17:11:00.000-08:00

sometimes a girl just needs to bake it out...know what i mean?

these delicious coconut maple pecan cookies are brought to you by the letter "m" (for mmmmm!), the number "1" (because that's realistically how many you can eat in one sitting), and good old fashioned kitchen therapy.

i wanted to make something new, but i wanted it to be good and fun too!

in my mind i was dreaming up a cookie that was chewy and mapley...something like the sticky, chewy coconut topping on a girl scout samoa cookie.

what i ended up with didn't come out much like that at all...but this kitchen experiment had a very happy ending.

chocolate chip cookies are timeless, but i wanted a sweet treat that was a little different and a little more...um...healthy.

i know, i know...healthy cookies...psssh!

but really...it can be done!

Coconut Maple Pecan Cookies:

Bake at: 300 degrees

Bake for: 18-20 minutes

Ingredients:

3 cups old fashioned oats

1 cup shredded, unsweetened coconut

2 2/3 cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon sea salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

2 cups brown sugar (packed)
1 cup safflower oil
1/2 cup pure maple syrup
2 Tablespoons light corn syrup
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 cup boiling water
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups chopped toasted pecans

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 300 degrees.
In a large bowl, combine oats, coconut, flour, salt, cinnamon, and brown sugar. Stir well.
In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the safflower oil, maple syrup, and corn syrup until just heated.
Boil water and combine with the baking soda, mix until the baking soda is dissolved and then add it to the oil and syrup mixture.
Add the vanilla extract.
Stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix until everything is thoroughly combined.
Add the toasted pecans and stir.
(you can toast the pecans in the oven, but I did mine on the stove top...all you need is a flat griddle pan or a frying pan...chop the nuts and put them in the pan over med-low heat, stir continuously so the nuts don't burn. I toast mine for about 3-5 minutes...just until they start to smell amazing!)

For this recipe i experimented with making my cookies bigger than i usually do...i wanted to be sure they were nice and chewy and sometimes smaller cookies come out crunchier than i want.
So...i used a 1/4 cup measuring cup and scooped out the dough that way.
Roll the dough into a ball and place on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet, flatten a bit and space the cookies about 2" apart.
Bake for about 18-20 minutes and be sure to rotate the sheets half way through.
(i set the timer for 10 minutes, rotate, and set for another 10 minutes)
When the timer goes off, pull out the cookies and let them cool on the sheet for about 3-5 minutes before transferring them to a wire rack or putting the whole sheet of parchment on the counter to cool completely.

Make some tea, eat, and enjoy!!

no coincidences.

2012-01-11T11:05:00.000-08:00

so yesterday i had written this long (and i mean loooong) post about placing value on our possessions as a way to place value on ourselves, which, as i've talked about here a million times before, is not what i feel is the point of life. you need to find the you who you are when all the bullshit is stripped away...you are not you, better or worse, because of the things you have or don't have...our possessions do not make us whole.

and that's the short of it...why am i shortening my thousands of words into under 100?

because someway, somehow...that post got deleted.

and for what it's worth...i believe there are no coincidences.

as far as i know only one person read that post (miss caitlin!)...and after i replied to her comment where she unknowingly referred to me by my (completely made up) native american name ("lots of thoughts")...the post was gone.

so it goes...

sometimes the thinker in me boggles my mind with so many thoughts all at once that i can sometimes get overwhelmed with emotion...and that's another thing i talk about here a lot...separating yourself, who you really are, from the thoughts in your mind.

in so many words, the post i made came from this ever growing, and sometimes overbearing, feeling in me to make change. to, you know...be the change. i want to make a difference, i want to find my tribe...those people out there, just like me, who want nothing more than to exist and coexist happily, sustainably, and full of love here in this life. i know you're out there...i just don't know where to look.

the other day i put out a sort of request to the universe to help me find a way to fulfill this need...

"as time goes on i become more and more passionate about making a

difference. i want to have a voice loud enough to save our planet and our people, a mind determined enough to continually

make change, and a heart strong enough to endure it all. but

where do i start? who do i turn to? where is my tribe?"

and thanks to the goodness of reaching tons of people at a time on facebook, i actually did get a few answers.

both involving me taking a drive to sedona.

coincidence that this is where i am being led?

i think not.

i don't know when i'll actually be able to make it there (even though it's just a short drive away)...but now i have this feeling that there is something waiting for me there.

and when i think back on my last experience in sedona...it was pretty amazing.

it was my first time in a teepee and we spent hours in there!

to me there is nothing weird about being drawn to a place filled with spiritual, nature loving, vortex living people.

i have a feeling i'll get what i need there.

i'm not going through some life crisis or anything like that...this whole seeking out "my people" thing is not new for me. i long for this sense of community that i just haven't found yet...and i know it's out there.

chad and i are fantastic on our own, we actually really love our life together and find that without the added stress and pressure of having to please people or deal with other people's bullshit...we are even happier. we have no drama and we love it!

but still...in my heart i know that as human beings we are meant to have community, we are meant to have a tribe...to be fully sustainable and to really live the way we want...it takes a village...even if it's just a small one.

isn't that little girl amazing?

we share a dream.

except i chad and i want a treehouse village, not a hotel.

the concept is the same.

the other day we watched a documentary on wavy gravy, and as silly as he is...i would LOVE to live like that.

everyone takes care of each other, every one has a job in the community, each person helps out for the greater good of the "village" and it takes the effort of everyone together to make things work.

it's beautiful and i love it.

oh but, in our community...we reserve the right to vote anyone out who isn't doing their part.

sometimes i think it's easy to forget that we're all in this together...that you are not better than me and, at the heart of it...i am not better than you.

i might not agree with your choices, your decisions, or your way of life...we don't have to be friends, family, or neighbors, but i love your being.

because at the core of you is spirit, and there it's all love.

no thought, no judgement, no ego.

there is a change happening, a shift in consciousness...and i can see it.

as much as i would like to help you all strip away your egos, to help you realize that you are amazing and beautiful without anything at all...i know that change comes from within.

the best i can do for now, for me and for you, is to be that change myself.

and then i can be free to reflect that onto you, onto the world.

sending out lots of love to you...wherever you are.

reach out and grab some!

an adventure to the lake.

2012-01-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

this past weekend was a lot of fun...even though i spent most of my sunday sleeping and feeling like i was going to lose the contents of my stomach at any moment.

still...fun was had.

saturday we woke up and did a few things around the house before heading out to barbudos (our most favorite burritos in town!) for some lunch to fuel up for an afternoon adventure to goldwater lake.

can i say how great it is to live just minutes away from so much outdoor awesomeness?

i love it!

in humboldt we were always just a hop skip and a jump away from all sorts of fun naturey things (what with living just 2 miles from the ocean and all)...and its really nice for us to find that here too.

we made a deal with each other for 2012 (among many others) to take full advantage of the opportunities we have to explore and be outdoorsy and see all there is to see in this new place. we lived in humboldt for 5 years and still didn't do everything we talked about doing by the time we moved.

live now!

this was our first visit to the lake (which i'm pretty sure is man-made...it kind of weirded me out at first, but i got over it real quick)...and i have a feeling we'll be back soon for a little picnic or a nice afternoon stroll.

bodhi got to experience ducks for the first time and he loved it!

i was looking around the lake, taking it all in, when i heard a big 'ol "hoooooonk quaaaack!!" and looked over to see bodhi splashing around in the water chasing two ducks who were, by then, flying a little further out of his reach.

hilarious!

we walked around for a while, sat on some rocks, and just enjoyed our afternoon excursion.

oh and lucky for us the weather has been beautiful here.

don't remind me about global warming and how the whole concept of seasons seems to be disappearing.

i'm just doing my best to accept each day as it is, as it comes...and know in my heart that everything is as it should be right now, in this moment.

cheers to a wonderful week!

and happy full moon!!

in an instant.

2012-01-07T11:38:00.000-08:00

we recently got an ipod touch for Funk Off! so that we can now accept credit cards when we vend events...this is incredibly exciting!

we went back and forth on it for a while, we knew we needed something but an iphone seemed like too much of a hassle and an extra unnecessary expense, we already have phones and we work from home so when we need to reference the web for something we can just flip up our laptop and surf away...and i kind of like the idea of not being able to have instant access to the internet at any given moment when we're out trying to enjoy life. we talked about an ipad, but we both already have our own computers so something like that (that also costs almost as much as a new laptop) wasn't really sparking our interest. but...an ipod...now that's something we can get down with. we seem to have an ever growing collection of ipods, or maybe i should say an ever growing collection of music...and my personal ipod is filled to the max. i hate having to delete albums just to fit something new on (real serious problems here, i know)...so an ipod touch was the obvious solution! more portable music storage and the ability to take credit cards for our business? sign us up!

in our first weekend of having this handy dandy little device, it paid for itself...so we're sold on it.

and what's happening in between events and when its not being used to listen to music?

instagram, words with friends, netflix, and a world of apps that a simple girl like myself could get lost in for days!!

i've already added and deleted so many apps since we've gotten the new pod...but i have to say, being someone who is nearly obsessed with photographing everything (i wish i had the photo of me at age 3 trying to us the remote as a camera)...instagram is my new app love.

yeah, i've heard of it before. i've seen everyone else's pictures via twitter and facebook and blogger...but i'm new here and i'm kind of sort of loving it.

i'm still getting the hang of it...i've noticed that when i reverse the camera to try to take a picture of myself...i always look like a weird mutant. and i don't think that's how i really look...but maybe.

sometimes you can use filters, but sometimes your pictures look better without.

you can take a picture to your regular camera roll, but instagram will crop it.

and you can tag a photo and click the tag and see hundreds of thousands of photos marked with that very same tag...part overwhelming, part "holy shit!", part awesomely unifying.

(it cracks me up that there is even a #catsofinstagram album)

and now, just a few weeks into owning this new device that connects me to the world in an instant...i found myself excited to participate in a photo a day challenge for the month of january.

oh and...loving it.

it amazes me how within minutes of posting some people have some 6hundred-odd likes/views/comments.

it blows my mind.

"shopping at target"-473 likes

"tying my shoe"-329 likes

"driving in the car"-404 likes

"lunch time!"-861 likes

but these are the everyday things that bond us as humans.

when you see someone has posted a picture of their morning coffee, you might think "i like coffee in the morning too!"...and there in the bottom left corner of the post is a tiny little heart just begging to be touched.

if you post a cute picture of your dog...i will "like" it.

if you post a picture of some food that looks so delicious...i will "like" it.

and if you post a picture that is pure comedic genius...i will totally "like" the shit out of it.

anything that is familiar or shares a common interest? "like"

makes me wish i was there or want to go there? "like"

amazes my eyes that a picture so great could even be taken with this weird flat camera? "like"

i could look through photo albums all day long...giving my own stories to the pictures, putting quotes to match people's expressions, wondering how that image just so happened to be captured in that exact moment of perfection...and this...instagram...is like the instant gratification of the world's photos. a virtual album that is updated each and every second of the day.

it's pretty amazing and while i see how people could get lost in it and become self absorbed...i find this greater sense of being through it all.

reminding me yet again that we are all one.

[ instagram: @meeshonelove ]

let's get too-ed up!

2012-01-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

of several hundreds of things that happen and change when you move to a new place that is far far away from everyone and everything you know, getting tattooed and being able to find a good artist who can get you an appointment in a reasonable amount of time wasn't something i even thought about when i moved to humboldt.

suffice to say, i have 5 years worth of stored up tattoo ideas in my head (with an entire purple folder bursting with reference material).

when we made the decision to move back to arizona it was a part of our "deal" that we would be able to get tattooed whenever we wanted...and while it's not always practical, i think we've earned this little privilege.

i've been lucky enough to have had quite a few sittings since we've moved back...but unfortunately they've all been "finishing up" sessions to finally, finally finish what we've started over the past couple of years...and while i'm still not fully complete...we're definitely getting closer.

anyway, this whole not getting anything new thing is only making my list of "to tadoo" tattoos even longer.

i'm not really a spur of the moment kinda gal when it comes to getting tattooed...so all of my tattoos have been planned out, even the most simple of them. the ideas that are newer to the list are ones that i will live with for a while to see if i really still want to go through with them...but it's actually some of my newest ideas that i want the most!

i've been wanting to get a dharma and bodhi tattoo for a while, but in light of our recent loss...it is now top on my list to get this one done. this will be my right thigh.

i have plans for my left thigh and the top of my left thigh.

after i finish up my arm i am moving on to fill of my legs a bit more.

and when we are in thailand (thigh-land)...we will be getting sak yant tattoos!!

most recently, after seeing this tattoo:

it has occurred to me that i've spent my entire life loving all things muppet, yet i do not have a single muppet inspired tattoo...what the hell?!?

just as soon as i can come up with something that is more my own and isn't a blatant rip off of the above tattoo ( i can't stand the thought of having the exact same piece as someone else!)...i'll be finding the perfect artist to complete something similarly badass.

it has also come to my attention that i've never even considered getting a gizmo tattoo...what?!!?

i know, i could hardly believe it either.

gah! he is SO adorable!

if you google image search "gizmo tattoo" (do it right now!), there are tons of super cute pictures of this little guy captured forever on skin...and surprisingly...most of them are really good!

i'll also share this one because i have a feeling no one will be getting this tattooed besides me.

those two ladies are two of the most important women in my life, mom on the right and aunt diane on the left.

they're twinners and for the past couple of years i've been searching for the perfect picture of them to use as reference for a portrait tattoo...i still haven't found "the one" yet, but i know its out there...probably in a box at my grandparent's house. my family is so big that its kind of hard to do something sneaky like this without it getting back to either my mom or my aunt...but so far the secret project has been a success. well, at least the secret keeping part of it anyway.

when they were little my grandma used to dress them exactly the same and thats just how i want them portrayed. over the years things have happened and life has changed a bit, but whether they're as close as they once were or not...this is how i will always think of them.

last time we were at aunt diane's house in mesa i noticed this picture, among a shelf full of others, framed in the room we stay in when we visit. she hasn't always had it, which means someone in my family sent it to her...when really they should've sent it to me! so i snapped a shot...we do what we have to do.
i'm not really a realistic portrait from a photo kind of tattooed girl...but if this isn't a great way to say "i love you" and "thank you" to these awesome ladies...i don't know what is.

oh my god! i die.

its too freakin cute.

there's also a wombmate tadoo with my wombie in the works and many many more to come.

the ideas just keep flowing in.

good thing i've got lots of room left! ;)

2012-01-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

lately a lot of our walks have been happening a little later than usual...the days are full but still i just can't feel good about getting in my own workout each day without getting in some exercise for dangles...so off for evening walks we go!
the other night when we went out i took my camera because i know that soon everyone will be taking down those beautifully enchanting twinkle lights that i love so much.

i feel that each month should bring an occasion for string lights...i really hate to see them go.

it's not creepy that i took pictures of people's houses is it? haha!

well, in my defense (if i am ever in a situation where i need to defend the matter)...i was taking pictures of the lights, not the houses.

( i got super excited thinking i was able to capture a shot loaded with stars with my little point and shoot...but no, it's just dust on my screen.)

oooh and last nights walk was a total adventure!

not only did we walk in a huge circle through a few different neighborhoods only to end up back at the same awesome old vw bus parked on the side of the road...but upon turning down a different road so as not to make the loop again, we ran into a husky and some kind of lab/shepard mix (a dharma dog!) barking at us from the roof of someone's garage! i have no idea how they got up there (or how they'll get down!) but it was quite a sight, lemme tell ya. we turned again to avoid any sort of 'big dogs leaping off of rooftop' scenarios and just a few blocks from home entered the feeding sight of a crew of javelina! i scooped up bodhi and waited for a car to drive by to make them scurry across the road...and on we went.

i love love love living in a neighborhood that is forrested and naturey!

namaste...mutha #$%*aaahh.

2012-01-02T10:48:00.000-08:00

(this video cracks me up and because yoga is going to be a key player in my life this year i think its wholly appropriate...also i may have been heard referring to fruits and sweet veggies as "natures candy" a time or two...namaste...mutha fuckaaah.)

yesterday i started working on several photo collages to show a few important or just plain adorable things that happened each month last year...but then i realized that it was taking entirely too much of my precious living time and i forfeit...because if i, or anyone else, wants to see what happened for us in 2011...all you have to do is look back through the pages of this here blog. the time has already been invested.

this relates to my self implied theme of the year which says that it is most important to live more, love more, and be more present...and in general, with regards to my somewhat perfectionist attitude, "good enough" will be my motto. this doesn't mean i'll be half assing anything, but i think it is an important lesson for me to learn that tying up loose ends (be it a painting, or a sewing project, or that damn crochet hooded infinity scarf i've been kind of sort of working on here and there for the past 8 months) and finishing what i've started to give myself a sense of accomplishment, are more important than doing things perfectly every time.

being creative and giving myself that outlet has always helped me free my inner perfectionist, the fact that i believe any diy project is meant to look...handmade...is a great starting point for this "good enough" vibe i'm going for. it's more "do what you can" and "don't sweat the small stuff"...and i'm looking forward to implying this attitude to everything outside of loving more and living more...those things i will be doing whole heartedly.

2011 took us for a pretty wild ride...we went through a lot of serious life changes and pivotal moments, we experience more intense emotional highs and lows than i have ever had in my entire life...and here we are in 2012 to prove that...together we can get through anything.

we've been watching this show called "living with the amish" that really actually deserves it's own post, but to reference it quickly here...seeing these people and the way they live and their incredible sense of community and belonging and the fulfillment they feel at the end of each day and just how happy they are...it hits home.

its like a big slap in the face that says "wake the fuck up!"...although i don't sit online in front of my computer all day every day, its safe to say that between emails, blogging, our online shops and businesses, and social networking, i spend much more time than i'd like doing things that don't really matter.

chad and i have an amazing relationship and our bond is beyond anything i've ever known...but imagine how much more amazing and magical it would be if i spent even just an hour less online and an hour more loving him? i mean really.

yesterday i did a little "clean up" on all of my top sites...i deleted all those facebook "friends" who i never even so much as click "like" for, let alone comment or communicate. i removed a million blogs from my reader (i should've done that forever ago!) and i am now only scrolling through a simple 20 pages. i reduced the number of tweeters we follow and simplified my address book in my gmail account.

it feels pretty good.

last year we started working on decluttering our space and our lives and this year i am making room for all the things that make life worth living...and it has nothing to do with blogging or facebook or twitter.

when i tune out everything else it makes it much much easier to "tune in" to myself...and that's what 2012 is going to be for. i have made a lot of room in my life for getting back to basics and i feel like focusing on balancing my mind, body, and spirit connection is top on the list.

i've noticed that my yoga routine has become more for exercise (strength and balance) than for inner peace and connectedness, my workout regime has become less about feeling good within and more about looking good in the mirror (which we all know is kind of not the point), and my daily routines have become mindless tasks that lack a sense of enjoyment and fulfillment...all that has started to change and will continue to evolve throughout the year.

i'm not big on resolutions, in fact, each week we set a list of goals, things to accomplish...but what i am into is making manageable change.

yesterday, after a really fun and super late new years sleepover with some wonderful friends, i got out 4 journals that i've been saving for years for "something special"...2012 seems like its gonna be pretty special to me and so what better time than now?

one i will fill with letters to my husband...i started this last year but as life got crazier i kind of let it fall to the wayside. taking the time to write him a little something each day makes me feel good and reminds me of just how much i love him...i even think it makes me love him more. this time around i will focus on one or two special things that happened in the day, rather than worry about spilling all of my thoughts and feelings in one entry.

another i will fill with art and inspiration and ideas...i have a pile of sketchbooks, of all sizes, that have served this purpose over the years, but i think it is important to have one designated space to spill this creativity.

a third will be things i love, things that make me happy, things that i am thankful for...a "little things" book.

each day i will write down one thing that makes me feel good.

and another will be for documenting my thoughts and feelings and progress in this year of reconnecting with myself...i know that there will be struggles, but i always love to see changes...no matter how big or small.

i have a really good feeling about this year and i promise to do my best to be present for all of it.

cheers to a new year!

11 random things.

2011-12-30T17:38:00.000-08:00

so...caitlin tagged me in this post of elevens and complete randomness...i think this is the perfect time to participate, what with the new year just around the corner and me wanting to do more new and different things and all.

Rules:

1. You must post these rules.

2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves on their blog.

3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.

5. Go to their page and tell them you have linked him or her.

6. No tag backs.

7. No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this.’ You legitimately have to tag 11 people.

11 Things About Me:

1. this is the first time i've filled out something like this since...ever.

2. sometimes looking at heavily textured objects makes my teeth tingle and my jaw clench. like this photo, for example (it also kind of makes me feel sick to my stomach, but that could be because it looks so disgusting):

(i can't believe i'm even posting this on here! blech!)

3. it is my dream to own several acres of land, build a modest home (and several tiny homes!), have a garden and some chickens and goats...and maybe a pig and a cow and a horse and a barn owl..., and live simply and happily ever after with chad and bodhi.

4. for my 25th birthday i went on an "i can do it!" cruise of the mexican riviera (it sounds much more glamorous than it really was, believe me)...part pshychic-medium, part yoga, part inspirational-motivational, part empowering...but mostly divine (there were a LOT of extra spirits on that ship...for sure!). i got to ask sylvia browne one question and to this day i have no idea what her answer meant.

for the record i totally adore her and fully believe in her.

5. i wish i could earn a fine living just baking vegan treats.

6. i have always had the most vivid dreams my whole life. my nightmares are so real i wish i could record them and sell them as horror films. i always tell chad i wish that he could watch my dreams...even the non nightmares are pretty wild.

7. i think it would be awesome to live in a world with muppets.

my mind goes wild with the idea...goblins in the closet, talking animals, big beasts, and lots of fun parties!

"what is that?" oh it's cool, its just bodhi chasing gonzo, nbd.

8. i love summer food...all kinds of salads, fresh fruits, grilled everything, sparkling citrusy drinks, tapas...lite and fresh!

9. if someone i care about or someone around me is hurt or bleeding...i get nauseous and dizzy and sometimes i faint. it comes on before i even have a chance to get worked up or calm down.

one time, chad got a splinter at michael's and i about hit the floor. its so so lame and i wish i knew how to control it. i've even considered getting hypnotized. ...although lately i've sailed through things i might've had problems with in the past...maybe i'm overcoming it! it's ridiculous.

10. my husband and i have been married for 7 months, we've been a couple for 4 years, and we've been best friends for 10 years (on the dot in february!)...i love him with all my heart.

11. am i the only one who is totally weirded out that we're just 2 days away from 2012? like, wtf happened to 2011? i feel like life is on fast forward and i'm standing still.

11 Questions from Caitlin:

1. If you had to be any cartoon character, which would it be?

i would prefer to be a muppet (obviously)...i would be janis.

but if i had to be a cartoon i would be...mrs. incredible (she counts right?)

*in the event of this question becoming a reality, i reserve the right to change my mind.*

2. Are you a dog, cat, gerbil, or no-pet person?

dog...final answer.

3. Imagine that at 12 years old, you had to decide all the tattoos you were ever going to get in your life. What would you have wanted to get tattooed at that time? If you don't like tattoos just suspend belief and tell me what you were really into at age 12.

i totally knew i wanted to get tattoos when i was 12, but i didn't have any ideas at the time.

i probably would've gotten the nirvana smiley face, a portrait of my cats, and a weed leaf (i know 12 seems kind of young for that sort of thing, but i was into some pretty weed-centric music...and one of my favorite groups in 2nd grade was cypress hill). and probably a camera, a paintbrush, and a dinosaur. i honestly can't remember 12 all that well...thank goodness i wasn't allowed to get tattooed then.

4. What is your favorite breakfast food?

eggs, fruit, and bagels.

oh but, we love breakfast for dinner because we can't eat sugary foods in the morning...so my favorite non-breakfast breakfast food is waffles with fruit and peanut butter.

5. If you could have any animal as a pet, with no concerns for personal danger or money, what would it be?

i'm torn between a lion and a bear...they both seem so awesomely snuggly...i mean, without any concerns for personal danger anyway.

6. What TV show could you watch over and over again?

how i met your mother.

7. What movie did you watch over and over again?

the wizard of oz.

8. What are your top 3 favorite blogs to read?

oh she glows

tiny buddha

you can heal your life

9. Who is your least favorite actor/actress?

arnold schwarzenegger/ kristen stewart

10. What's the furthest distance you've ever driven on one trip?

3,000 miles.

11. If you had no concerns about what you looked like or how people would judge you when you walked out the door, what would you wear?

i was going to say yoga pants, but i think that stigma is dumb...so instead i'm gonna say underwear.

My Questions:

1. is cheesecake cake or pie?

2. what happened in your last dream?

3. if you could have tea/coffee with someone famous, who would it be?

4. pearl jam or nirvana?

5. what is currently your favorite song to dance to or sing along to?

6. what is your best childhood memory?

7. have you ever been pulled over?

8. how many jobs have you ever had? (when i thought about this one i couldn't believe it! like...15!)

9. what is the deal with kid leashes?

10. can you rock a rhyme (and what's your rap name)?

11. what can you do this year to show more love?

i am seriously impressed that i could even think of 11 bloggers...

em+tim, ainsley, chantilly, elycia, roxy, erin, ashley, carly, betsey, jules , diane

this thing has taken me all day to finish...okay, i've taken breaks...but still!

holiday happenings.

2011-12-27T19:33:00.000-08:00

we survived phoenix yet again!

christmas was nice and mellow, family is awesome, but there's no place like home.

thursday night we opened our stockings and things from my mom...bodhi even got something!

and then he was so stoked on trying to get into the other little boxes...hence the glitter on his nose.

or is he just magical?

we woke up early christmas eve to have some coffee and a bite to eat before going to visit chad's granny.

we even braved target that afternoon!

christmas morning we woke up for breakfast casserole and coffee...and we watched the hangover 2 while we waited til after granny's lunch to go visit with her again.

after that chad and i headed to a few spots around town that he learned about.

we were on the hunt for some graffiti...i think we made out pretty good.

even though we weren't really doing gifts this year, we still ended up getting some necessities for our big trip...a set of outlet converters, a travel pillow and blanket set, a little fold up hair dryer, and a mini flat iron (obviously for chad).

we came home yesterday morning and ended up in this huge traffic jam outside of phoenix...there was a big accident on this stretch of two-lane highway. our 1 1/2 hour drive home took 3 hours! when we drove passed the "scene" it looked like everyone was okay, which always makes me feel relieved.

i am a nervous nelly in the car anyway, but when i see people driving carelessly or speeding or even something as simple as not using their turn signals...it makes me a little nauseous. slow down people, why are you always in such a hurry? you're driving this heavy ass hunk of metal that could kill you or anyone around you in an instant. be mindful, be careful.

anyway...enough with the safety squad...

all in all it was a nice weekend, but we're so happy to be home!

and...keeping my fingers crossed...we won't be going back down for a whole month!

this week we're taking it easy, getting to work on some projects we've been wanting to finish, catching up on chores and errands, and preparing for a fun weekend with friends!
i can't believe 2012 is almost here, it's so surreal.

merry merry!

2011-12-24T14:53:00.001-08:00

early mornings and mellow days.

2011-12-23T09:35:00.000-08:00

oh, good morning!

this is for reals me, first thing, drinking from my new favorite coffee mug.

(am i the only one who thinks it's interesting that mugs are most commonly called "coffee cups"? i mean, was this style of cup originally intended and specifically made just for coffee?...okay, my curiosity got the better of me, i stopped just now for a trip to google and didn't find much on why, but i did learn that "The first coffee shop appeared in 1475 in Constantinople."...with history like that i don't know if i'll ever find the root of this mug mystery)

we're down in phoenix for the weekend to spend time with family for the holidays...although, truth be told, we would much rather be spending a quiet christmas at home, just us.

if christmas was more important to me i would come up with some grand explanation of how its our first married christmas and we just want to be together to start new traditions...and even though i do love to spend every waking moment with my husband making memories and sharing experiences...that's not really the reason i wanted to stay home...i'm just...so over being in phoenix. haha!

but i have this feeling once the festivities get rolling i'll feel happy and thankful to be with our family.

this is our first christmas in 5 years that we'll be with them and i'm finding comfort in that.

we aren't really religious people and so for us and our families christmas is more about tradition than anything, and by tradition i mean habit and routine. the older i get the less i really care about getting gifts, i am more interested in quality time and building relationships than tearing into a pile of presents.

"there is no gift like your presence"...and as cheesey as it sounds, it is so true.

in fact, this year we aren't really doing gifts because that's not really what matters to us anymore. sure it's nice to get ahold of something on your wishlist, to be able to ask for something and know you'll get it without having to buy it for yourself...but a lot of times we end up getting things we don't really need...and like i've said so many times before, we don't value ourselves and our lives based on our possessions. so this year, if anyone asked what we wanted for christmas we requested "life money"...for food and bills and everyday living.

but again, that's not really what it's all about.

in a perfect world we would be able to get everyone together for one nice, uninterrupted, social networking device and tv free dinner...but that can be tricky, so we'll take what we can get.

and speaking of giving the gift of quality time and life experience...

in just a few short weeks we will be heading off on a grand adventure with our family...

that will count for many christmases to come.

we are so thankful.

yesterday we drove down in the early afternoon and chad had a quick sitting on his throat (fun times!). after that we just came back to the house and hung around...okay...laid around and watched movies for the night.

it was kind of a long day yesterday, even though we didn't do much.

i woke up not feeling the best with this nasty lingering headache and a twinge of something that felt like i might have been coming down with something...but i am oh so happy to say that today i am feeling tip top!

(and also kind of dying to get in a work out!...thank goodness for you tube and quiet, low traffic neighborhoods)

we woke up early this morning to take the car in for some repairs...i'm hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that it won't put us out too much.

we had a little breakfast from aj's and a bit of coffee, and now we're catching up on some internet things while we wait to make a family trip to whole foods.

(p.s. this year we got a vegan "ham" for christmas dinner!! i can't wait to try it!)

i think we'll spend the afternoon relaxing, cause that's what the holidays are for!

and tonight we're having dinner at pf changs with the fam and aunt diane...we kind of love changs and lettuce wraps and veggie potstickers and that tasty tasty 5-spice tofu. kind of.

this weekend we are going to make the best of things...it might not have been our first choice to be in the city, but we promise to smile and laugh and be merry. ;)

Seasons Greetings!

2011-12-22T18:19:00.000-08:00

creative spaces.

2011-12-21T16:56:00.000-08:00

yesterday i got to spend some time working in my new art space for the very first time since we've moved in.

it was pretty awesome.

with everything else that's been going on around here there hasn't been much of an opportunity for art things...but i hope the next couple of weeks will be nice and relaxing and filled with creativity.

i spend the afternoon working on my mom's xmas present and even though i didn't take a picture when i was finished...it turned out great and i know she's gonna love it.

it felt good to draw and work in my own space...its nice and spread out in there and i am going to take the time to fully appreciate it.

its the last room in the house that i'm settling into and i have a feeling lots of great things are going to come out of there!

Dr. Mops Sick Drips

2011-12-19T14:41:00.000-08:00

i can't believe i haven't talked about dr.mops sick drips before!

there are a few excellent reasons why my opinion might be biased, but when it comes to art supplies i am seriously picky. and for me, the fact that i do not have a single complaint about this product says enough.

dr.mops is a one man locally owned and operated business that has a rad assortment of colors to choose from, this ink has the "by writers, for writers" seal...and although i wouldn't consider myself to be a writer, i am definitely an artist...and i love this product!

dr.mops was intended to be used as mop ink for busting quick and crazy drippy tags...but it can also be used on canvas with a brush or in paint markers!

the colors are super vibrant and really opaque...which is something that is hard to find in a lot of paints.

this means i don't have to coat my canvas with layers upon layers of paint just to get the consistency i'm going for...awesome!

here is a blurb from the DMSD website:

Dr. Mops Sick Drips is a xylene free bold and opaque oil based permanent paint mixture designed specifically for open flow valve markers, open flow mops, and squeeze markers giving you a superior drip and a high gloss finish. Dr.Mops Sick Drips comes in an 8 oz/ 236ml bottle containing a set of small metal balls that aid in the mixing process, while shaking, to help gaurentee a smooth flowing premium drippy consistency every time.
Dr.Mops Sick Drips has been battle tested on the streets to bring you the best recipe we can at the lowest price. we are a company based on the "by writers, for writers" philosophy and as part of this we garuntee every bottle of Dr.Mops Sick Drips will be sold for no more than $10.00 making it one of the lowest priced inks/paints on the market. With other ink and paint companies charging sometimes up to twice as much, we aim to offer top quality at a much lower price. More bang for your buck, more drip for your applicator tip!

Dr.Mops Sick Drips tested and approved applicators: mo hair/cloth/steel tip mops, bingo daubers, kiwi shoe polish mops, empty window writers, glue bottles, katchup bottles, contact solution bottles, eye dropper bottles.

if you email DMSD from the website you can place an order easy peasy.

each 8oz. refill bottle costs just $9.99 and each order comes with a free mop or two and some stickers!

holler.

here's where shit gets even more bad ass...

this week on the altar of unanswered prayers blog

(which is a rad blog with tons of dope graf pics, videos, and inspiration!)

you can enter this holiday giveaway for a chance to win 3 bottles of dr.mops sick drips in any color you'd like!!

there are going to be two winners chosen and the giveaway is open until this friday, december 23rd!!

so head over there and enter for a chance to win!

if you or anyone you know writes or is into graffiti or is an artist in general, this is a killer giveaway..so don't wait to enter and tell all your friends!!

DMSD is the shizzz!

the best ink/paint around!

oh and if you're local to az you can pick it up at:

Wet Paint Artist Supply

phew.

2011-12-18T17:33:00.001-08:00

we've been beyond busy lately, i can't even remember all the things i've done in the past two weeks...which is exactly why having a couple of friends up for the day yesterday was just perfect.

a forced break, a much needed day off, a chance to slow down a bit.

yesterday morning we woke up early and got a few things done while we waited for john and sarah to arrive, when they got here we hung out at the house for a bit and then made the decision to take a little adventure to thumb butte. its right down the street from our house, but we still hadn't been...until now!

there was still a lot of snow on the ground when we got there so we spent a little time playing around throwing snowballs before we took on the butte.

i think the whole trail is about a mile and a half so it was a pretty good little hike...i also think we get mad bonus points for doing it in the snow and ice!

there were a lot of snowballs randomly flying through the air.

and the view from the top was pretty rad!

us girls took our time on the way down (we tried to keep up too though!) being careful not to slip and fall, although we were totally expecting to...while the boys figure skated back down like pros.

it was totally fun!

after we worked up an appetite climbing up and trying not to fall back down that big 'ol mountain, we grabbed a bite at the raven cafe and talked for a while about...all kinds of things.

and after lunch we walked over to the candy shop to check out some treats...on the way we all agreed (because john peer pressured us) to try one crazy candy and one crazy good candy.

we totally ate one chocolate covered ant patty each!...we're vegetarians, this is huge!

haha!

it was totally weird and you won't catch me eating bugs any time soon...just when i thought it was over, i totally got a leftover ant bit long after the chocolate coating was gone. bleh!

my "crazy good candy" reward for trying something new was a piece of molasses taffy...also not great. ha!

but chad to the rescue...he got rolos...smart guy.

we came home to relax and get warm for a few hours before dinner.

chad made us a baked brie wedge with crackers and jam for a snack while we watched a million episodes of lizard lick towing...it was delish! we're just starting to get excited about different cheeses so it's really fun to try new things.

*p.s. lizard lick towing is hilarious and we are totally addicted!*

for dinner we treated ourselves to tara thai...and i am so happy we have leftovers for dinner again tonight!

we had a slumber party and all woke up early for coffee at the house before going to breakfast...we just got a new dining room table and this morning was the first time we've really used it...we are so happy we have it and i was so excited that we were all just sitting around the table talking while we had our coffee...so so nice.

we had breakfast at the dinner bell and we were sure to go nice and early to beat the crowds...it was perfect.

i kept it real simple and just ordered scrambled eggs with feta (again with the cheese) + sourdough toast and fruit...i love breakfast and i love eating breakfast out sometimes...it feels like a special treat.

we also all shared this massive cinnamon roll that we didn't even come close to finishing...it's sitting on the counter taunting me and my promise to myself to consume less sugary foods...that one bite from earlier surely hit my sugar quota for the day...but oh was it tasty!

the kids left after we ate and us two lovebirds have been home working on little projects all day.

i'm about to hit "publish post" and go check in on my sweet to see what he's up to. tonight i'm thinking massages and christmas movies and a cuddle puddle under a pile of blankets.

love and love.

merry movies pt.3

2011-12-17T16:03:00.000-08:00

merry movies pt.2

2011-12-16T12:09:00.000-08:00

i wish more of these movies were available to watch on netflix instant or on you tube in parts (sometimes you can purchase a movie to watch for 24hrs on you tube though)...but i have a feeling you can find any of these available to rent from netflix or your local video store...if you even have one anymore!

dear caitlin...you must have been reading my "merry movies" round two mind!

merry movies pt.1

2011-12-14T21:39:00.000-08:00

hollywood has totally gotten to me...every year for every major holiday without fail, i get so anxious to watch certain movies. around halloween i posted some of my favorite themed movies, and now with christmas right around the corner i thought it would be the perfect time for a merry movie round up.

whats a christmas without rudolph...really?

this of course is the best grinch movie because it is the o.g. version...but i totally dig the one with jim carrey too. i feel like the story has awesome political and social messages all throughout...dr. suess is just rad like that.

when i was younger i was convinced that we hung candy canes on the christmas tree to keep the gremlins away...thanks mom.

i will forever love muppets and muppet movies.

this song from this movie gets stuck in my head all the time!

pearl jam.

2011-12-10T08:54:00.000-08:00

this past week we watched pearl jam twenty on netflix instant play and suddenly...there i was, 11 years old sitting on the playground with angela croft sharing the headphones on her discman listening to Vs., all while trapped in this 28 year old body making ginger molasses cookies in the kitchen with a big smile on my face listening to pearl jam songs in the background...happiness...it's the little things.

if you ever even liked pearl jam a little bit back in the day (or still like them now) and you haven't seen pearl jam twenty...you're missing out.

before i get any further i'd like to rewind back to that year i was in 6th grade sharing the pearl jam experience during recess...1994.

this was also around the time i had discovered nirvana, aunt diane and her boyfriend brian knew a thing or two about music and i had been listening to records and collecting tapes from them since i was too young to know or really care what a band's name was or the titles to any of their songs...i knew the words and i knew that i liked the music, nothing else really mattered then. well, until 6th grade when i realized that having this wide range of music exposure and being able to share mix tapes with friends would change my life...okay, maybe i didn't realize the life changing thing until a while later, but the point is, knowingly or not, my life would forever be changed and influenced by a simple rectangle of plastic housing a reel of "tape" that in just 90 minutes, could blow my mind...a cassette tape.

(we were a little behind the technology times in my house, growing up we had a beta vcr only until about...1993. and i didn't get my first discman until 1996, my first two cd's were from my dad: sublime's 40oz to freedom and 311. to this day i still love that sublime album and still can't believe my dad thought i would like 311.)

i remember the very first time i listened to incesticide...i was blown away.

it was vaguely similar to the nychc compilation brian had recorded for me (with bad brains, gorilla biscuits, madball, and 7seconds)...but this kind of "angry" music felt like it was coming from a different place, and going into that "angsty teen" time in my life, i needed a little grunge rock. my interest in hardcore came years later.

(later that same year i would discover "riot grrrl" music...that's a story for another time, but for now i'll say that hole, 7 year bitch, bikini kill, the bangs, le tigre, sleater-kinney, and L7, amongst others...helped me through those "girl coming into her own" years of teendom more than anything else)

when nevermind came out aunt diane got it for me right away and i remember listening to it over and over and over again learning all the words, trying my hardest to understand what kurt cobain was really trying to say through all of it. and when they did mtv's unplugged...oh man.

i really identified with nirvana, i remember feeling like i could really vibe with kurt's pissed-off-edness...and when i would listen to pearl jam with angela (it was her favorite band), i just didn't feel the same.

i didn't feel like i could jump around and scream the words along with the same gusto.

and so there i was, the choice was clear...

in the battle of pearl jam vs. nirvana, i was nirvana all the way.

the day the news broke that kurt cobain had killed himself on april 5, 1994 (my 11th birthday), i remember my friend erin (the biggest nirvana fan i know) crying hysterically through the halls...i also remember that i did not feel that intense sadness, i don't think i fully understood what had actually happened...i just knew that kurt was dead and nirvana could not go on without him.

and i remember telling her that "at least he had the chance to put out albums and record songs with his messages that people can listen to forever".

now, fast forward to 9th grade...i'm at julie william's house playing pool with my girlfriends and julie's boyfriend in their sun room...in the background we're listening to some cds that josh (julie's "musician" boyfriend) had brought over...stone temple pilots, live, pearl jam...more mellow vibes, but still there was something underlying in those songs and i remember, in that afternoon, deciding that i wanted to give pearl jam another chance.

at that time i was re-expanding my hip hop horizons, i really hadn't learned much new in the rap industry since cypress hill and salt-n-peppa, which were both my favorite groups in 2nd grade...but while i was busy grunge rocking out, there was a whole barrage of rappers and hip hoppers coming out with rhymes and beats that made me want to dance and that almost always made me say "woah" upon really listening to the lyrics. i was trying to get my friends to listen to krs-one and dead prez...but instead we were listening to dmx and the ruff ryders.

(stop! drop! shut em down, open up shop! woooah, nooo...thats how ruff ryders rooooll.)

*in life there are some things you can't "unlearn"*

so, for me, getting into pearl jam long after the rest of my friends even gave a hoot about grunge, was the first time i really said "fuck it" and chose to openly listen to what i wanted to listen to even if everyone else was listening to something different (and making fun of me for it). i called my aunt and asked her to make me some pearl jam tapes and within a week i was soaking it all in, listening to all the words...feeling something brand new as i was now identifying with eddie vedder...his lyrics, his voice, their music...i was feeling my feelings in a new way.

towards the end of high school i started going to shows and i will forever remember the impressions of eddie vedder done by my friends at any given, random, moment. (there were also many impressions of james hetfield at that time). and i will probably always, or will always want to, yell "pearl jam!" from the back of the room at any show in between songs...ever. only once has my request been filled, and i'll remember that forever too.

a few years ago, into the wild came out and chad and i fell in love with it...it is for sure one of my top 5 movies of all time. and not only is it an incredible movie with fantastic actors and an amazing story, but eddie vedder did the entire soundtrack. and if you ask me...the soundtrack (in movies like into the wild) can really make or break the film. i loved it so much that i ~~downloaded~~ "file shared" the album.

and just last year we learned more about p.o.s and saw his youtube video where he covers "why go"...and yet again, i was in love.

watching pearl jam twenty just brought all of these feelings and memories back and although i think that my nirvana "phase" was important to who i am...if i was the me then that i am now...i would be a pearl jam girl, without a doubt.

dear eddie vedder,

i have been converted.

i don't know what took me so long.

but i can now confidently admit that i am pearl jam...all the way.

much love,

michelle.

everyday

2011-12-06T17:57:00.000-08:00

we've been busy busy with Funk Off! lately (which is amazing and i'm so happy!!) and every time i'm working on something for the biz this song pops in my head...all because of kat williams and this skit.

more than just a walk.

2011-12-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

its getting significantly colder and a whole lot snowier here in prescott which, admittedly, makes me feel more like burrowing under the covers with bodhi than going outside for some fresh air and exercise.

but every morning as i'm doing my workout downstairs in the warmth and comfort of our home, i can't help but feel guilty that i'm getting exercise and little bodhi isn't...which always encourages me to promise him a walk...and you know i can't break a promise to that little dude.

we've been going for long walks nearly every day and that 45 minutes to an hour is so much more to me than just a little added activity and fresh air.

while bodhi is fulfilling his own sense of adventure, smelling all the smells and peeing on everything long after his tiny bladder has been emptied...i am first breathing and being present, taking in my surroundings and using my internal gps to take us on a new route and home again...and then i am reciting affirmations, out loud as we walk along.

yes, that's me...the girl with her dog, talking to herself.

the best part? (aside from the affirmations themselves)...i don't even care if anyone sees me or hears me...this isn't about them...this is about me.

these every other daily walks have been really really good for me.

its a time for me to clear my head, get connected, and remind myself of what matters.

and as silly as it may appear, saying these little affirmations out loud on a regular basis has really started to make a difference in my life...in my attitude and my outlook.

and i swear the things i am saying are becoming realities.

pretty incredible stuff, that power of positive thinking.

the first half of our walk is always very focused, getting my breathing in check as we hike around our hilly neighborhood...and once i begin saying these little bits of encouraging things, i don't stop until we hit the driveway.

i probably end up saying everything at least twice...i feel like this really helps things resonate and helps make sure my messages have been put out into the universe...loud and clear, unmistakable.

it also turns my affirmations into mantras and turns my walk into some sort of movement meditation.

when i come home, even if i left the house feeling sleepy or agitated or sad or hyper or indifferent, i always feel really really good when i walk in the door.

and i know bodhi is always stoked too...he runs through the door and finds chad right away as if he's trying to tell him how much fun his adventure was.
i think its helping him become a bit more zen too....he s behaving better and listening better and...taking more naps.
it makes all the difference in the world to make some time for us, and although i'm sure a 20 or 30 minute walk would do the trick, once we're out there exploring we just don't want to turn around!
now if only i could get chad to come with...then our whole family could feel the benefits of some fresh air, some exercise, some time unplugged, outdoors...some qt with the number ones.
i plan to continue this throughout the winter...the past few days have been pretty crazy...and cold and snowy...but tomorrow we are back on track and we'll be out there keeping our minds and bodies healthy and well!

our own little winter wonderland.

2011-12-03T17:31:00.000-08:00

we had a really great time in phoenix last night...well, i did...chad got his throat tattooed which i'm sure is not the most fun thing in the world.

yesterday morning we drove down the hill and got to phoenix in the early afternoon so we could meet up with some friends and grab a bite to eat before a night of vending (and tattooing).

the crafeteria was a lot of fun and i am so glad we got to be a part of it this year.

when i got there i pulled into the parking lot to unload my things and nearly cried my eyes out while driving the truck to the nearest parking lot...i had left an entire bin (not just a little bin, like a human sized bin) at home.

an entire bin filled with displays and table cloths and signage...fml.

and we were set up right between the hot dog cart and another soap vendor...us...the vegan soap business.

(this later turned out to be a blessing in disguise...us being right next to the food line, getting the perfect bright lighting from their wildly bright lights, and turning their patiently waiting customers into our own happy customers)

i quickly called chad to overcome my frustration tears...reason number 5,763,872 why i love him.

i took a deep breath and went on to set up our table anyway.

sometimes you just need a moment, know what i mean?

in the end i feel like our display things are just bells and whistles, extras that we don't necessarily need...but just like having a decorated home, i prefer it.

the event was a huge hit and a total success...we did really well with Funk Off! (sold a good handful of our new for-a-good-cause Sometimes Sweet products!) and i even sold a few hats (thank you phoenix for actually being legitimately cold once every 99 years).

we met a lot of new people, caught up with some of our customers from the hissyfits hullabaloo, and got to see a lot of friendly faces...some old and some new.

(i finally got to hug and say a proper hello to the super sweet and completely adorable ashley of merry may handmade and take a peek at her incredible little mobile shop! and i even had the pleasure of meeting chelsea and scott who were sweet enough to stop by to say "thanks!" for the apple cider vinegar recommendation i gave chelsea a while back. they are both so kind!)

and at the end of the night i was so so happy to meet back up with my husband to tell him all about everything...the people i saw, the conversations i had, the things we sold, and all of the fabulous customer feedback...i always miss him so much. 4 hours of vending makes for about 2 hours of catching up afterwards.

this morning we got up and had some fantastic coffee (made in our new chemex coffee maker) with chad's dad before loading up to head home...on the way we stopped at paradise bakery to share a tasty jalapeno cheese bagel egg sammy and then ran over to pf changs to place a to go order for what is about to be our happy saturday dinner.

i loved the giant ornaments they had scattered througout the shopping plaza...im getting so excited for christmas!

we had a really great drive home, i don't think there was hardly a moment of silence the whole way.

well...until we came home to this:

we saw the sign that said "winter weather driving conditions ahead"...but we thought that was just for phoenix people who don't know that it snows a little up here...boy were we mistaken.

it was no where near the blizzardy conditions of the east coast...but it was pretty flippin snowy.

so snowy that we couldn't get onto our road let alone into our driveway...and we weren't the only ones.

this afternoon, from the warmth of our living room, we could hear sounds of tires spinning and snow shoveling and even some neighborhood kids sledding down the street outside our house.

we had no idea it could get like this here.

on tomorrows list of to do's: buy shovel and salt.

the views from our house are pretty great and this afternoon we spent quite some time staring out the windows watching the snow come down...light, heavy, tiny flakes, huge flakes.

chad says its like our own personal winter wonderland...it's true!

we took bodhi out for his first real snow experience...he was stoked and running around like a crazy dog at first, but then i think his feet got cold cause he was totally over it...like, pawing at the door to go inside, over it.

we had originally planned on going downtown for the tree lighting tonight, but instead we are snowed in, keeping warm and cozy at home getting into desperate housewives on netflix (we're on season 2 and loving it!! its a way better show than we thought. for some reason i pushed it off as a boring dramatic soap opera, but its not boring at all!).

tomorrow i hope its nice and sunny and not too snowy to leave the house!

happy saturday night!

xo.

Funk Off! presents: Sometimes Sweet!!!

2011-12-02T12:32:00.000-08:00

we are so so excited to finally be able to tell you what we've been so good about keeping secret for so long...

after a lot of talk about wanting to do more and give back while still promoting our small business and allowing ourselves to continually grow, we figured out the perfect plan for a new project for Funk Off!

over the course of the next year we will be connecting with some of our most favorite bloggers to bring you all a brand new limited edition scent every couple of months...2012 is the year of Funk Off! ;)

and not only are we working with some really great people on this project, but we are also working side by side to bring a little extra love and happiness to the world...for the entirety of this project, with each individual's scent, we will be donating $1 from the purchase of each signature item to a charity/organization of that featured person's choice!!

this is big!

so...we are proud to present...

Sometimes Sweet!

a special blend created just for Danielle Hampton of the blog Sometimes Sweet!

When we met with Danielle to work on creating her signature scent we had a lot of fun coming up with the perfect blend for her personality and personal preferences. Her “Sometimes Sweet” scent is fully feminine and timeless, for sure. It’s a bit citrusy, a little floraly, and ever so slightly sweet…oh but, totally down to earth and mellow at the same time. It’s a perfect match!

We would recommend this scent for anyone girly, anyone who loves to smell feminine and fresh and pulled together. The notes of citrus and bursts of exotic flower petals give “Sometimes Sweet” an uplifting quality while the background hints of earthy woods and sweet musky moss leave you feeling grounded and relaxed. It’s honestly an awesome blend for any occasion and works for women of any age. And it’s so different from any of the scents we’ve made so far…we dig it!

If you're a follower of Sometimes Sweet you'll know that recently Danielle posted an entry all about her pal Kristin and the incredible lengths she is going to to make a difference in India...so naturally, when Danielle asked if we could donate the funds to Kristin, who is an American nurse working in India, we fully agreed! Kristin works for an NGO that repairs cleft lips and palates free of cost, but that’s not the only awesome thing she’s doing…

During her time in India, she discovered an area of the city she is staying in, near the train tracks, where so many people live without much by way of food. Kristin takes time out of her week and money out of her pocket to buy and prepare food to be delivered by her and friends (and volunteers that become friends) to the families living in these slums. She is changing one life at a time, every single day. We think this is pretty amazing which is why we, along with Danielle, are more than happy to support this project Kristin calls “Asha Guwahati”.

$1 from the purchase of each Sometimes Sweet product will go to

Asha Guwahati in an effort to help feed the children of India.

For more information on Kristin and her project visit:

www.kristinechaos.blogspot.com

so what are you waiting for?

go get some amazing smelling products and support a great cause!

Sometimes Sweet Limited Edition products.

save the words!

2011-12-01T08:45:00.000-08:00

omg...save the words.

this is my newest most favorite website.

yesterday my sweet friend megan shared this page with me and my love of "word of the day" has been reignited.

i used to get a dictionary.com email daily that would give me a new word to try to make use of during the day, it was more fun when i was working as a server/bartender since i had plenty of opportunities for conversation.

but because i love love learning new things, i'll take the word of the day challenge even on a day where the only verbal contact i have is with chad and bodhi.

i like to keep things interesting...i would never like to be accused of boreism.

(boreism: behavior of a boring person)

plus...they not only give the definition of each uncommonly searched word, they also use it in a perfectly applicable (and entertaining) sentence...you know, to make it easier to sneak it into your day.

you can also adopt one of these lonely words, but you must agree to use it as much as you can.

i am loving it!

now, time for some serious venustation so i can get on with today's chores and errand running.

p.s. it's snowing!!

tuesday.november.29.2011

2011-11-29T13:23:00.000-08:00

today we are:

-loving each other a little extra. (we've been so busy lately!)

-finally finishing up our thank you notes from our party last month.

-patiently awaiting our new chemex coffee maker (thanks to hank and that one tiny cup of coffee, it's all we can think about! chad even just said "come on fedex!" outloud...and he doesn't know i'm typing this. see what i mean? the anticipation is taking over!)

-labeling and packaging Funk Off! travel kits.

-making a run to the post office to mail those thank you's and a few Funk Off! orders and the big 4-in-1 record player we just sold on amazon.

-looking forward to a long afternoon walk with bodhi.

(we've been going almost every day and i have to say that those 45 to 60 minutes are some of the most refreshing minutes of my day. this week i'll share some of what's been going on during these great walks we've been having...i feel like its really making a difference in my life. i know right? walking.)

-keeping our fingers crossed that there is a froyo double date in our (near) future. ;)

(cough cough...hampton's...cough cough)

-planning out the next few days in preparation for this event:

-dying to watch the season finale of Sons of Anarchy! holy shit it's so intense right now!!!

(chad told me that last weeks episode was the finale and i was freaking out at the end...there is no way they could've left it like that!)

p.s. clay sucks. i've thought that since the very beginning. hes so...ew.

-looking forward to pm yoga. well, i am anyway. for a while i was out of my routine and feeling slightly overwhelmed with life...i should never take a break from yoga again...not ever. since i've been back to my normal yoga everyday habit i have been feeling pretty fantastic.

what are you up to today?

Cyber Ssss...

2011-11-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

...SALE!

its cyber sale...dirty birds. ;)

(it might be about time to retire these pictures and do a new shoot...what do you think?)

a lot is happening today in the world of Funk Off!

this would be the official launch of some very special new products...but there was a hiccup in production and we're on hold until we get the correct supplies.

so instead we're offering something else awesome.

today only in the Funk Off! etsy shop, enter code "FUNKYMON"

in the note to seller box upon check out to get ONE free lip balm on any order of $15 or more and TWO free lip balms on all orders of $30 or more!!

(thats essentially buy two products get one lip balm free! buy four and get two...total bonus!!)

even if you're not personally a lip balm person (who are you?!)...they make awesome stocking stuffers or little gifts for anyone really.

later today we'll be releasing another new scent in the shop...a heavenly dude scent that will have them swarming with chicks...unless they're taken, then we will send an instruction booklet on how to appropriately beat the ladies off with a stick, it's quite simple really, but we'll use pictures to illustrate proper action.

the point is...ladies...if you want your man to smell like some kind of god...get down with some Black Magic.

and fellas, if you're single...don't wait any longer. throw out your (cough, cough) ~~subpar~~ other body spray and get with it. Black Magic...seriously...magic.

COMING SOON!!!...like TODAY soon.

and...

today our homegirl caitlin posted a Funk Off! product review over at To Make Love Stay...not only do we love hearing what you guys honestly think, but we love when we get to giveaway some good stuff to good peeps...yeah, thats right...

there's a GIVEAWAY!!

so go over there, follow caitlin (cause she's rad!), and try to win!

giving thanks.

2011-11-24T10:45:00.000-08:00

of course i'm going to post about being grateful...its thanksgiving.

today we are taking the day off from rearranging and working, today we are relaxing and enjoying a full day of each other, today we are eating an awesome dinner...chad's most favorite of all dinners, today we give thanks for all that we are and all that we have in this world.

and this is our first thanksgiving as a married couple...which just gives me one more thing to be thankful for. ;)

this is also the first year since we've been together that we are close enough to spend holidays with our family...but we really wanted to stay home together, just us.

i love our families so much, but sometimes it's nice to just relax and do your own thing.

the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind.

we've spent the past 5 years worth of thanksgivings together, just the two of us, and honestly...there is nothing better.

i am a "give thanks every day" kind of girl, but this year i noticed how the things i am grateful for have changed a bit...i feel like i love more now than i did before and i feel like i express gratitude for the little things now more than ever.
so here is a small taste of what i am giving thanks for today:

* i am thankful for my husband who is also my very best friend.
he truly makes each and every day better just by being in them.
he is the only person i feel like i can talk to about absolutely everything, he is the one i want to spend all of my time with, the one i love more than anything in this world, the one who makes me feel like i am amazing just as i am. without him i would be incomplete. he makes each day worth waking up for, he makes me happy when the rest of the world seems so down. he is my everything and i am so proud to call him mine.

*even though each and every passing day without our little bear still feels sad and a bit empty, i can't help but be thankful for the time we got to spend with her. i know that she was in our lives for a reason and i know that she was only meant to be with us for so long and if she wasn't so fucking incredible it wouldn't hurt so bad to be without her. i love her so much and i am so grateful to have had her as a part of my life for those 4 years. she was a blessing. i still like to think that when we're laying around watching movies she is laying there with us. and when i take bodhi for a walk, i think she is with us then too. every car ride...she comes with. we miss her presence and her little spirit so so much, but appreciating the time that we had with her makes me feel better...just knowing that she chose to be with us, to enrich our lives, to remind us of whats important.

*i am thankful for this little comedian. he came into our lives just 2 years ago, right before thanksgiving, and he sort of completed our family. and now, as we work through the loss of our sweet baby girl, he is here to help make sure that not a day goes by where we don't laugh at him or love on him or forget to be grateful for what we have. its like he came to us to help us through this time and for his little spirit in our lives...i give thanks.

*for our amazing friends and family (who are often one and the same). these past few months have really shown me the importance of having a genuinely loving support system and i realize that not everyone is so lucky as to have that in times of need. our family has been there for us this whole time, before we even said "i do", during our move, and into what feels like one of the most difficult times in our lives...we give thanks.
we have recently rekindled a few past relationships with friends and have also been able to call a few new people friends. all of this has helped us to not feel so alone in everything...and for this we are thankful.

*for a roof over our heads and our bellies fed.
these simple (and basic) things are so easy to take for granted, but i believe that it is important to be grateful for all that we have while we have it and not wait for those things to be taken from us to realize how good we had it.

*for my health and wellness and my determination to stay that way.
sometimes i don't feel like working out, sometimes i don't feel like taking bodhi for a walk when it's cold, and sometimes the thought of laying in bed all day is far too tempting...but i know that these are the things that help keep me healthy...mind, body, and soul. we are fortunate to have families that are (for the most part) healthy, but it doesn't take much to realize the importance of maintaining these vessels we were given.
i am kind and respectful of my body...and i like to think the gratitude is mutual.

*i give thanks for our home and our safety. for this place to rest our heads at night, for this place to make our own (for a little while anyway), for this place that shelters us and keeps us safe from the elements and the world outside our door.

*for this planet we call home and all that she has given us.

i think its high time we realize just what that means and start (or continue) being givers...even if gratitude is what you give at first. change has to start somewhere...why not make it happen within you.

*for this little corner of the internet where i can say what i feel and share bits and pieces.
(and for all of you wonderful people who care and share too!)

*for skype! holy shit, its the future. i am thankful for this awesome advance in technology that lets us communicate with our loved ones in an instant...and face to face!

*and i am already thankful for the delicious dinner we are going to have today! a feast for two.

*and for the native americans who were here long before us preserving the land, taking care of nature so that nature would, in turn, take care of them. we corrupted what they started, we changed their lives forever. and that we will not soon forget. i give thanks and praise to them and send love and peace to their souls and their families...may they rest comfortably and peacefully.

i am grateful for so much, this is just a small small list to help remind me of what matters.
and today, as i go through the day, i will be conscious of all that i am and all that we have, and i will be continuously thankful. remember that not everyone gets to spend their thanksgiving in the same ways as you do...some by choice, some not...remember to show gratitude for every little thing...you are loved.

happy day!

super special announcement!!!

2011-11-22T11:54:00.000-08:00

thank you all so much for participating in our little giveaway!!

we kept the comments open until 9pm last night and drew our winner first thing...it was so fun doing this!

we have a few new scents releasing in the next few weeks so check in at the shop and check in here for another giveaway coming soon-ish! ;)

and now for the big news (and a special thanks to random.org for making the whole process so so easy!)...

drum roll please...

congratulations stacey jean!

you are the winner of one bar of our new coffee soap...you know what to do...

Espresso Yoself! ;)

also...if you've never been to stacey's page before i highly recommend going over there to look around...she is a wonderful being...truly incredible.

thanks again everyone!

karmin music

2011-11-20T12:35:00.000-08:00

this morning my amazing husband (and bodhi too) woke up early and let me sleep in...so i hogged up the whole bed, snow angel style...and dreamed some pretty crazy "i may be sleeping too long" dreams.

and i woke up to the sun peeking through the blinds and family cuddles...its the best.

i got in a work out and then made us some lunch and while we were eating we watched a few videos that chad had emailed me this morning while i was snoozing away...can i just say?...this is so us!

well, except that i don't sound like nikki minaj and chad doesn't look like michael cera.

but seriously...how fun are these two?!

i totally love it and we both got super stoked to see questlove drumming in one of their videos!

(love him!!...like, wanna give him a huge hug every time i see him, love him.)

these are a few of the best ones (and also the ones we watched today):

(now if only this is what lil wayne really sounded like)

(chad said the little blurb under this video says that they tried to record this in their living room but the neighbors kept pounding on the walls because of the "excessive rapping"...haha!)

WAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUP!!

2011-11-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

it's here kids! and just in time for the sleepiest season of the year where nothing jump starts your day like a hot cuppa somethin good!

oh well...except a hot shower with your fav new bar of soap from your fav soap makers...

fresh from Funk Off!:

Espresso Yoself!!

Vegan Shea Butter Coffee Soap!

instead of our usual apricot seed exfoliant, we took real (and real good quality!) coffee beans and ground 'em up to the perfect scrubby consistency, added 'em to our best ever shea butter soap, and kablaaam!...

the best soap to wake up with!

(we mean in the shower, not lying next to you in bed...but hey, who are we to judge what you do with your soap?)

so...if you love coffee or just the smell of coffee or if you know someone who does...

this is it!

look no further...you have found the perfect way to treat yourself or that special java loving person in your life.

we always say Funk Off! products are the best gifts for the holidays...

totally awesome and fully practical...

and our second favorite part? (aside from the totally awesome thing, of course!)

completely affordable!!

keep us in mind for your holiday wish list and for that person you just don't know what to get.

everyone loves Funk Off!

truth.

oh and here's the best part...

if you're really reading this and have taken the time to go this far, you're in luck because...

we're giving away one bar to one lucky reader!!

all you have to do is:

-be a follower of this blog and leave a comment below telling us your favorite part of waking up on a cold winter morning!

and for an additional entry...

-share this link on twitter:

@FreshNotFunky is giving away a bar of their new coffee soap! Go on, Espresso Yoself!

http://blingandbones.blogspot.com/2011/11/waaaaaake-uuuuuuuup.html

-and tell all your friends about us!

(this one is strictly honor system based...just do it! really...tell 'em!!)

we will select one winner from our magical hat on Monday, November 21st and we will announce your name here the very next day!

that gives you just 6 days to get in on the fun!

p.s. we've got another super something to release for the holidays, we've paired up with someone special for this one...stay tuned!! ;)

oh sunday.

2011-11-14T15:33:00.000-08:00

yesterday had been declared a day of rest...that is until we started thinking about all the things we could've been doing...then yesterday turned into an afternoon of...you guessed it, more unpacking.

but we took a bit more of a leisurely approach.

and on the up, i'm super happy that we're getting so much done!

oh and also, we totally slept in...it was incredible.

for breakfast (at about 1230 when we finally got around to it) i made us an impromptu fritatta...skills.

sometimes you just gotta take a look at your ingredients and get jazzy with it (dear husband...yeah, thats right...jazzy).

one thinly sliced red potato cooked in a skillet, add cooked mushrooms, garlic, and kale and some gimme lean sausage; pour a few eggs (mixed in a bowl first!) over everything, sprinkle on a little cheese...bake it in the oven...and bam!

brunch...just like that.

also, pretty sure that mimosa was totally necessary...a treat for all the hard work we've done.

i helped chad organize some things downstairs and i got my own little home gym set up!

i'm no stranger to working out at home (although i do love the gym so so much), but for me to have an actual designated workout space?...i am so happy!

i put it to good use first thing this morning and i am very very grateful.

anyway, after a little moving and shuffling and rearranging...

i took bodhi for a long walk to explore our new neighborhood.

we only meant to be gone for about 30 minutes, but after learning that our neighborhood is filled with twists and turns and hills and loops...our small adventure turned into an hour long journey with about 25 minutes spent trying to figure out how to get home.

my internal gps stepped up on this one...i was crazy proud of myself.

bodhi needs some serious whispering...we're working on it.

a lot has changed in our little buddy's life in the past few months and we're starting to see the effects of our crazed life in his ever growing attitude.

now that we're in a new place i think this is the perfect opportunity for us to lay down some new rules and get this pup back in line.

i feel like i've been saying "he's usually so good" far too often lately.

and as a part of this bodhi boot camp...daily walks are a must.

we're going to gear up and head out for one now actually...the sun is setting earlier and earlier so we need to allow time for extra discovering (aka. getting lost).

exercise, then food, then love.

thats what ceasar says.

it's been aother long week.

2011-11-12T21:06:00.000-08:00

okay ready?

inhale...2...3...4

exhale...2...3...4...5...6

this is the first time i feel like i've sat down in days.

this is a true life, real moment photo...i am curled up on the couch drinking a tasty coconut porter checking in on the wide web of the world while i wait for my husband to get out of the shower so we can watch a movie on the internet.

thank you project free tv.

(p.s. friends with benefits is SO good! definitely the best romantic comedy we've seen in a long while)

so much has been going on that i've barely had a chance to check emails let alone blog or email anyone back (sorry!)...but tonight is the last night of the madness...for a couple of weeks anyway...so i am revelling in the peace...giving thanks for this evening and so looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow (we'll see what "sleeping in" means nowadays, we've been up at 6am the past two days and up before 9am in the days before that, all while working well into the night to get unpacked and settled in).

the more time i spend in this house, the more i love it and the more time we spend in prescott...the more i love it.

yesterday morning, while we were driving to the fam's house super early in the dark for the yard sale, we drove past the square downtown and all the trees were lit up with the prettiest colored lights (i'm a total sucker for string lights...especially colored ones!)...i got so excited i said "i love it!" far too loudly for 630am.

these days i am very honed in on the power of positive thinking.

when life gets busy its easy to get stressed and spiral into a mess of bummed-out-edness...but it only takes a little bit of effort to stay positive. it only takes a minute of deep breathing to make me feel more calm...about 6 good ones. funny how doing less, thinking less, worrying less, having less, takes more effort than the constant sensory overload we've become accustomed to.

but even the littlest things can be pretty fantastic if you just think them so.

because...in the scope of things...life is good.

just being here, getting the chance each day to live more, love more, and learn more...

that, in itself, is good.

and on that note...

this is what our past few days have looked like:

all day tuesday and for a few hours wednesday morning, i was cinderella'd out...it was really important to me to make the other house look as though we had never lived there.

it was so so kind of our family to let us stay in their home while we adjusted to all of the changed and looked for our own place here.

bodhi was obviously so tired from running around scavenging out of my little dust and crumb piles i had swept up. its hard work finding all the good snacks.

thursday our modem came and we were able to finally hook up the internet in our new house...holler.

not having internet isn't the worst...but not being able to access information and entertainment at our leisure isn't the best. we are so spoiled...us here in 2011.

i set it up all by myself and even though it wasn't hard at all...i'm still super proud of myself!

so...we're online! which is great news because we have a few new scents dropping for the holidays from Funk Off! our new project is pretty amazing and we can't wait to share the details with everyone.

i hope the world is ready for us.

bodhi, again, was obviously exhausted from a day of serious supervising up and down the stairs as we moved boxes around.

thursday night we hooked up our tv to the internet and caught up on a few shows while we unpacked boxes in the background (there is a lot of unpacking going on here).

apparently we needed a special part for our tv stand, so we did what newly moved peeps do and watched our tv where it was...on the floor.

and it was awesome...seriously.

friday morning we had a big fat yard sale...it didn't snow and it was fun talking with some locals!

people crack me up in general, so an event like this gives me a day of laughs.

yard sale people are a certain breed...know what i mean?

we killed it in sales and i'm crazy stoked to have made so many of our old things into new treasures for so many people.

i always love seeing who buys what.

and i love seeing how excited kids get seeing a table filled with treasures with prices like .10 and .25...mom hardly ever says no to that.

one couple (in raiders gear) bought all of my piratey items.

one lady bought 2 of our sleeping bags for these homeless guys she knows downtown.

(it's getting very cold here at night)

one couple bought one of dharma's old dog outfits and we saw them downtown walking their dog in it later in the day.

(this made me SO happy for a moment! i really miss dharma so much...it still feels new and its weird to be going through all of this without her, i feel like she should be on the couch next to us. somehow seeing someone else's dog wearing her sweater made me think of her in the happiest way...it helps that seeing her in that particular outfit made me laugh so hard...it has leopard print sleeves and a faux fur collar.)

psssh...new yorkers.

oh and...here's bodhi...sleeping.

unable to keep his eyes open after a morning of barking at strangers and whining at the door to come out after he got put in for barking at the people who are giving us the money. he clearly doesn't get how this whole thing works.

*on a side note*

bodhi decided to go on a little adventure thursday afternoon.

we were at chad's parents house helping set up for the yard sale the next day...we were moving the tables into the garage and within about 10 minutes bodhi had wandered off, hitch hiked with some strangers who probably picked him up wondering what this dog in a hoodie was doing walking down the side of the road...and, as far as we know, had hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows at their house. they called us and we called them and they brought bodhi home...he rolled up in the driveway looking like he owned their car...he was stoked. he needs a good lesson in stranger danger.

we took an adventure to true value to get the right screws for our tv stand and strolled around in awe of how cool of a store it is.

see?...life is fun!

we also got bodhi a new bed at cvs for a great deal...he's in love.

the first night we gave it to him he flopped and rolled around in it for a while and then passed out.

he didn't even get up to eat when i poured food in his bowl.

same here little buddy, same here.

we've been making awesome progress at the new spot!

i've just been working on little things here and there throughout the day and i'd say its coming together nicely...it feels so good to be able to set up our own space. and its fun to see our things in a new light.

and now...

i'm going to sit on the couch and watch my idiot brother with my favorite person in the world...

and probably fall asleep very very soon.

serious weekending.

2011-11-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

this past weekend was so full of happenings i almost don't even know where to start...at the beginning, i suppose.

friday night we went to bed with the intention of getting some good rest for the big weekend ahead, except for some reason i couldn't sleep very well. and when i woke up at 6am and looked out the window i was greeted with a huge surprise...snow!

we had heard that it was going to snow and/or rain saturday morning...but this was not at all what we were expecting. i thought maybe there would be a few flurries, perhaps a light dusting of powdery white...never would i have guessed that our first snow would mean several inches.

needless to say...we were pretty stoked!! its been years since either of us has been in the snow...and now we get to live a whole winter with it. this year i might even get my very first snowboarding experience!

is it totally weird that i grew up a whole 18 years in new york without ever skiing or snowboarding?

even my mom snowboards. ha!

i'm an avid sledder...let it be known.

so, saturday morning after the shock of snow wore off (okay, i'm gonna be real...i was so excited about it, hoping we could carry even just a little snowballs worth all the way to phoenix with us...the surprise never wore off...i'm still happy about it!)...we headed down the mountain into the valley.

when we got to phoenix we dropped off bodhi and our vending supplies and drove over to the habit to grab a couple of veggie burgers before going our separate ways for the day.

chad had some work to do with a friend of ours and i had a tattoo appointment with my girl jen.

i ended up getting my shin fully finished...hooray!! and two other small tattoos. a very happy tattoo day to me!

later that night i met back up with chad and our friends for a quick and tasty dinner at chipotle and then the two of us went back to the house to relax and watch a couple of shows before our early morning sunday.

the hissyfits hullabaloo was a total success...and you can bet your bottom dollar we'll be there next year!

apparently i missed the vendor information that was sent out the night before, so we didn't know when to show up...we got there at about 830 and it looked as though the event had been raging all morning. haha!

its all good though, we ended up getting the last available spot...but it was a pretty good one so we were happy.

aunt diane came to the rescue with our canopy tent that had been stored away at her house since our first uhaul trailer load back in the beginning of summer...and chads parents came to hang with us too.

they actually ended up being excellent sales people and lured in a lot of customers! it was a huge help to me because there are always little things that i need to finish up at the very beginning of any event...it always seems to work out that way.

we met tons of wonderful people and even a few fans from the Funk Off! facebook page and twitter account...thank you guys for being so wonderful!

we had a ton of fun and it was really great to get a months worth of socialization out before we hole up for the winter. ;)

(oooh! not the whole winter though! we just found out today that we were one of 45 vendors selected from 150 applicants to vend the crafeteria in phoenix at next month's first friday art walk! stoked!!)

we quickly broke down our booth at 2 so that we could run back over to the fam's house, grab bodhi, do a costume change, shove a piece of pizza down our gullets, and rush out the door to roll over to aunt diane's in east mesa, drop of the dangle dog, and make our way to danny and janay's wedding in queen creek.

phew!

we ended up getting a little lost...well, we found the farm but drove a ways past it looking for the road the farm house was on. hank and danielle gave us a heads up, but we didn't realize the road we were looking for was before the farm.

we missed the ceremony, but got there just in time to hang with some old friends before we got to work on the taco bar.

you guys, a taco bar at a wedding...genius.

because we gobbled down the aforementioned pizza, we weren't crazy hungry...but hungry enough to share a pie tin of rice and beans and guacamole...yum!!

the whole wedding was so cute...little personal touches everywhere...it was very comfortable and relaxed and we had a really great time.

chad found the fire pit right away and we spent most of the night chillin on a bail of hay around the fire.

it got really cold really fast...and we forgot our jackets in the rush of everything.

i've never been to a wedding with a fire pit...but i fully approve, it was awesome!

oh and smores! they totally had smores!!

we love danny and janay and we wish them a lifetime of happiness...

we mentioned it in our madlib. ;)

when we got home we changed out of our wedding clothes and climbed into the biscuit to catch some serious zzz's before yet another big day monday...i mean...of course there was an hour or so of pillow talk, recapping the whole day.

we woke up bright and early monday morning and drove a few miles from aunt diane's house to pick up our uhaul...we were finally getting the rest of our things to move into our new home!

but before we loaded up we needed some good fuel...so to the coffee shop we went!

its right next door to joe's farm grill (one of our favorite bites on that side of town!).

i got the veggie scramble with 9 grain toast and it was so loaded with spinach and tomatoes and mushrooms...i loved it!

it took us a couple of hours to get everything into the truck, but we did it...and at around 130 we got on the road.

it was SO cold when we got into town! and we are SO grateful that our new house has heat.

oh heat, how do i love thee...

we unpacked the uhaul and ordered some thai food and relaxed a bit before going to bed at...gasp...9pm.

haha!

it was our very first nights sleep in the new spot and i honestly slept so so good...i could hardly believe it was morning when i woke up.

today we are over at the other house cleaning and grabbing the last little bits of belongings before the parents come tomorrow...we gotta make this place look as if we were never here...that's the plan anyway. ;)

and then later tonight, after the cleaning and errand running...we'll get to unpacking some of the boxes and things we brought up yesterday.

we're having a HUGE yard sale this weekend at the big house and we need to go through our stuff to see what we need and don't need and want and don't want.

busy busy busy.

but feeling happy...that's all that matters.

wednesday.november.2.2011

2011-11-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

today i felt as though i could've stood in the shower all day. the hot water just pouring over me warming my entire body and washing away the past couple of days.

i really wasn't thinking of much, just standing there letting myself be really in the whole experience.

(who calls showering an experience, really?)

i know i keep talking about certain things being cleansing, but maybe its because i am experiencing so much right now that even the smallest everyday things seem so significant to my journey...this journey called life, that is. it's like letting these things remove the residue of these moments that are now passed gives me a clearing in the path ahead and i can approach each new moment with a fresh outlook.

although i do yearn for this rising consciousness that has been expected to come, i swear i am not wanting it so badly that i'm pretending its real.i honestly feel like something is different, like something has changed, something is changing. and i don't even have to convince myself or anyone else of a thing...these conversations about the world and the state of things and where we invest our time and hearts are coming up naturally...i don't even have to start them anymore, they practically start themselves.

we are meeting more and more people who think and live similarly to the way we do...putting our focus on living and not on gaining popularity by thinking what the majority thinks, saying what people want to hear.

we do right by ourselves and that's what matters most.

my own consciousness is rising on a daily basis, this i know is true. things i would've judged or thought too much on in the past are now just small obstacles in the game, i now realize i have the power to choose...i am in control of me and i can easily remove myself from a situation or conversation that doesn't feed my soul.

talk about empowerment.

so while most people are letting themselves and their lives be sucked into a false reality, keeping their identities similar and their actions as predictable as programmed robots...i am doing me, doing my own thing...dancing to the beat of a different drum. i used to plague my mind with the wrongs of the world, i would stay up all night thinking about how my high school problems were nothing compared to the problems other people had, they paled in comparison to the worries of the world...i had a roof over my head and my belly fed...i was loved. what did i have to complain about? and this realization led me into a whole new world of thinking...i wanted to help the world, i wanted to right the wrongs, i wanted to make sure that everyone felt loved and everyone could know that in that, there is hope...but...i am not the server of justice, i am no superhero. i became heavily involved in making waves, if my friends were organizing a banner drop to protest walmart or a rally against the circus or staging an over generalized reenactment of the rodeo...i was there to pass out fliers, share information, and totally gross people out with the extremely horrid posters and videos peta would send us. but this was only a small part of the problem, animal cruelty.

as i got older and more in tune with the workings of the world and society around me i started thinking more about the bigger picture...human cruelty.

how could our fellow humans treat us so poorly? why does it matter who has more money and more things? is that what makes us whole? are those the things that give us the right to be treated as equals? who decided that money (pieces of printed paper) means everything? and who let it be a societal truth that some people get more and some people get less?

this is not based on how hard you've worked or how far you've come or how much success you've gained...yes, i said it...money and success are not one and the same...not to me anyway.

enter growing consciousness.

the state of the world, and more importantly, of the human mind, is not a product of just one action...not of animal cruelty, factory farming, logging, mountain top removal, deep pockets, death penalty, hatred, or drugs (and by that i mean pharmaceuticals and any man made chemical compound, not plants and herbs and those things found in nature that our government has so sadly and wrongly accused of doing harm)...no. the current state of things around here is a direct reflection of two main things...greed and respect (or, should i say, a lack there of).

as my life goes on and as i continue to venture along each day learning new things about myself and this place we call home (this planet we inhabit), i find my own small bits of greed dissolving and respect for myself and my home and the people around me growing and growing...and in that i feel more connected to who i am and where i came from, more connected by love...and more disconnected from everything else.

my desire for a simple life living off the grid in our own space with our own land and small farm to tend to has left me caring less and less about material things...and in the wake of the events of the past few months of this life, i find that my "things" really don't mean much at all.

let's be real, you can't take 'em with you.

although i do find comfort in my own home surrounded by the things my husband and i have collected over the years, both together and separately, i understand that these things don't make me who i am, they do not define me or dictate my worth...these things are just things and without them i will survive. i will still be me...and if i am not...i need to look deeper.

there are things that we all take for granted on a day to day basis, showering, wearing weather appropriate clothing, clean water, a plethora of food choices when we're hungry, a bed to sleep in under blankets to keep us comfortable and warm, a car or bike or even legs to take us from place to place, the ability to speak our minds and choose. i am not saying we should do without, i am simply saying that we need to look within and find out what all of this really means to us, i am saying that we need to be thankful for what we have, not trouble ourselves over what we do not. we need to shut out the voice of the media and find our own strengths, find our own answers, educate ourselves...we need to decrease our overflowing greed and increase our sense of respect.

just because someone is homeless does not make them less of a person, and it does not make it right for you to judge them...understanding some one's situation without placing your own harsh words and judgements on them: respect. we are all just a few bills,a few dollars, and a roof short of being in their shoes, we don't know what got them there...they are not less than.

just because someone came to your country seeking refuge from their own doesn't mean that they are not human...calling them immigrants automatically lessens their position in this world just by negative connotation alone. opening your heart to someone who is new and trying to make their way in this world, no matter where they came from: respect. we are all just one boat ride, one flight, one car ride, one foot over the border, one leap of faith away from being where they are. do you really think we own this place? that we should be the ones to say who can go where? that we should act as though we are above someone who came here with nothing but the clothes on their back? that we didn't come from the same place? greed.

learning to expand my mind and my heart has led me to some very open and loving places...within myself. i feel like i see the world around me through fresh eyes, the things i never noticed before i see so clearly now...the things i used to see on the surface now seem deeper. its like i can identify a person without even really knowing them, without using outward appearance as a judging factor. i am still growing, still learning, still figuring out how to coexist here amongst 6,999,999,999 others...some just like me, most quite different...but i think i am entering this new phase, or maybe i've been in it for some time and i am just now accepting and acknowledging it...either way, i feel like who i am is different than who i was before, or maybe, different from who i thought i was before.

i think it is important to strip down your being sometimes, to let nothing about who you think you are be who you really are. look at yourself and try to see into your soul...forget about titles and jobs and tangible things...who you are cannot be named...for your essence, there is no word.

we spend a lot of time doing and thinking and moving and working, but we don't always take the time to be with ourselves...and without that, how can you know who you are?

it seems like there isn't always enough time in the day, but i can always manage to find a few minutes here and there to come back to center, to be who i am.

i do my best to stay grounded, but sometimes there is just so much going on around me that i can't manage to keep my feet on the ground. i remind myself that i am human, that no one is judging me, that there is only so much i can do, that its okay to say "good enough"...that i need to feed my soul.

there is a quote that has been in my head for over a year now, i can't seem to forget it and it keeps coming up. i think it speaks to all of us and i think that remembering this has helped me find myself a little more.

"within you there is a stillness, a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself."